Hard to Handle by the Black Crowes is a COVER. I had no idea! How did I not know this? It was originally written and recorded by Otis Redding and was released in 1968, the year after his death.
Yesterday while I was getting my mani/pedi, Scheherezade was playing on whatever cd mix thing they had going. Scheherezade is a beautiful piece by the Russian composer Rimsky-Korsakov and is based on the story 'A Thousand and One Nights'. It has the most amazing clarinet part (ok, there are other amazing parts too, but I play the clarinet so that's what I pay attention to). If you've never heard it, definitely try to get your hands on it. Oh yeah, I play the clarinet. Actually, the whole truth is, I have a bachelors degree in clarinet performance. Little known facts about LI Ashtangini.....
Today at the grocery store the Scherzo from 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' by Mendelssohn was playing. I couldn't help but remember my sophomore year in college, my professor assigned the excerpt from this piece to me. I don't remember the exact tempo setting but it's FAST. REALLY FAST. So I had to break it down as slow as I possibly could and I would practice it every day at the same slow tempo for a week. Then the next week I would take the metronome up two ticks and play at that tempo for a week. And so on until I was playing it at the correct tempo. It reminded me that my yoga practice is somewhat like that. You start out slow, maybe you can't do everything but with practice it gets better and easier until you can't remember not being able to play the Scherzo from a Midsummer Night's Dream, or not being able to do chaturanga after chaturanga. Interesting, no?
I do still remember the tendonitis though. I don't think that will ever go away. Perhaps a reminder to be mindful and practice ahimsa.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Lacrosse.......a cold weather sport?
I took Z to his lacrosse practice yesterday. It was FRIGID. And I forgot his jacket. Not that he could have worn it over all of the pads. Still, I'd be the crappiest mom ever, lol. After practice we went to McDonald's (yeah, I know, don't even go there) for a McFlurry. I guess Z wasn't that cold. Lacrosse is brutal! and confusing. and boring. Fortunately for me, his mother did not show up. I haven't met her yet and I'm trying to keep that particular life event at bay for as long as possible. I also got a whole lot of stuff done yesterday: cleaning the house, paying bills. I felt bad because Z spent most of the morning watching cartoons and playing X-box. So, when it was time for his brother and his father to come home, he had been mostly cooped up all day with no entertainment. Both children got wildly wound up over dinner and consequently got yelled at several times until bedtime at 9:30. While I was totally annoyed at their wildness, I could kind of relate because Z had literally had no interaction with anyone but me all day!
I went to the afternoon Mysore on Friday and came home barely able to stand. I don't know what it is about practicing in the afternoons but I simply can't do it. I can't tell if it's the teacher (I don't think so), the fact that I've been sitting all day or some strange combination of adjustments. It feels like the problem is UHP. I certainly don't want to bad-mouth the teacher in any way because I don't think it's that person's fault but something about their adjustment/assistance in UHP renders me completely unable to get up and down. The pain is high up on my hip in the back. Basically, once it (whatever 'it' is) happens, I can stand and I can sit but the transition between is horrific. While I was getting out of the car I felt it spasm and I was afraid I was going to fall over right outside in the street but I recovered and got myself into the house. By morning it had worked itself out and I had no more pain. But this happens EVERY TIME I practice at the afternoon session. I just don't get it.
I went to the shala this morning, it was quite crowded! It was one of those Sundays where we end up making three rows instead of the normal two. I had a really good practice. I actually feel a little bit of my flexibility coming back, which is nice. I'm still only going up to Navasana. I'm actually thinking of approaching Teacher and asking him to re-teach me the second half of primary. I would really like to start all over with the rest of it. My backbends felt pretty good (no clue what they look like, I'm probably better off that way) and I did three dropbacks against the wall. I don't seem to be getting any closer to the ground though. I do, however, feel like I'm really finding my feet. I'll just keep plugging along and see how it goes, I guess. When I left I had that lovely happy feeling that I used to get all the time when I practiced in LA. Gosh, I love that feeling. I must remember that feeling tomorrow morning when I'm trying to do my home practice at 5:30am! I also drove the the shala this morning, and that was GREAT. I left the house at 8am and was on the mat by about 8:45 or 8:50. And afterward I was home in about 40 minutes. I did the laundry, had my car washed, got a mani/pedi/waxing (inspired by Cranky's flawless pits, HA!), went for a walk with BF then cooked him dinner. And now I'm working, moving mailboxes. Again. I'm VERY tired of working!
I got the book that Owl recommended. It's pretty good. I think I'd like a little more theory, a little less practical application/practice. I mean, the practices in it are a good idea, I think I'll even try them. But I really want to hear more about what they think. Perhaps I just need a shrink to figure out what the F is wrong with me. More on this topic in the coming days, I think.
I went to the afternoon Mysore on Friday and came home barely able to stand. I don't know what it is about practicing in the afternoons but I simply can't do it. I can't tell if it's the teacher (I don't think so), the fact that I've been sitting all day or some strange combination of adjustments. It feels like the problem is UHP. I certainly don't want to bad-mouth the teacher in any way because I don't think it's that person's fault but something about their adjustment/assistance in UHP renders me completely unable to get up and down. The pain is high up on my hip in the back. Basically, once it (whatever 'it' is) happens, I can stand and I can sit but the transition between is horrific. While I was getting out of the car I felt it spasm and I was afraid I was going to fall over right outside in the street but I recovered and got myself into the house. By morning it had worked itself out and I had no more pain. But this happens EVERY TIME I practice at the afternoon session. I just don't get it.
I went to the shala this morning, it was quite crowded! It was one of those Sundays where we end up making three rows instead of the normal two. I had a really good practice. I actually feel a little bit of my flexibility coming back, which is nice. I'm still only going up to Navasana. I'm actually thinking of approaching Teacher and asking him to re-teach me the second half of primary. I would really like to start all over with the rest of it. My backbends felt pretty good (no clue what they look like, I'm probably better off that way) and I did three dropbacks against the wall. I don't seem to be getting any closer to the ground though. I do, however, feel like I'm really finding my feet. I'll just keep plugging along and see how it goes, I guess. When I left I had that lovely happy feeling that I used to get all the time when I practiced in LA. Gosh, I love that feeling. I must remember that feeling tomorrow morning when I'm trying to do my home practice at 5:30am! I also drove the the shala this morning, and that was GREAT. I left the house at 8am and was on the mat by about 8:45 or 8:50. And afterward I was home in about 40 minutes. I did the laundry, had my car washed, got a mani/pedi/waxing (inspired by Cranky's flawless pits, HA!), went for a walk with BF then cooked him dinner. And now I'm working, moving mailboxes. Again. I'm VERY tired of working!
I got the book that Owl recommended. It's pretty good. I think I'd like a little more theory, a little less practical application/practice. I mean, the practices in it are a good idea, I think I'll even try them. But I really want to hear more about what they think. Perhaps I just need a shrink to figure out what the F is wrong with me. More on this topic in the coming days, I think.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Still working
There is absolutely nothing interesting to blog about. I'm here, working my ass off. I have not practiced since Sunday. Which is completely tragic. Sleep is simply more important than my yoga practice right now. And I won't even be able to go to my vinyasa class on Saturday. I have been drafted to stay home with the 8-year-old while his father and his brother go to a baseball tournament in Patchogue (yeah, more bumfuck). AND I have to take him to Lacrosse (sp???) practice on Saturday afternoon. BF says there is a 40% chance that Z's mother will show up there. Fun, huh? I haven't met her yet but she did manage to exhibit some more of her psycho behavior this week. This will not be fun.
Ah well, friends from far-away places are coming to visit soon. And I have my trip to LA to look forward to. And this work thing will only last another week or so. I'll practice again eventually.
Ah well, friends from far-away places are coming to visit soon. And I have my trip to LA to look forward to. And this work thing will only last another week or so. I'll practice again eventually.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Payback
I haven't been this tired in a long time. I haven't worked this hard in a really long time. I think this is payback for the year and a half that I did almost no work at all and got paid a ton of money for it while I was in LA. I had to postpone my trip to LA til the end of April. Honestly, I'm too tired to even be that upset about it. I'm hoping that all this work manifests itself at bonus time.
I practiced in the new Prana that I got from Cranky on Sunday. Prana is very comfy! I may buy some more from her, if she has any more Larges left on payday. I also got 'Anatomy of Hatha Yoga' and the Matthew Sweeney book from her. I'm so glad she recommended the anatomy book, it's already helped immensely. In addition, I ordered the big gigantic Yoga book (Yoga Journal), which came on Friday, and also the Third and Fourth series Encinitas DVD. BF is so cute, he watched the whole thing with me. He actually seemed moderately interested. I looooooove the Yoga book. I love yoga pictures, I'm such a dork. Plus, I didn't realize that my first mysore teacher was in there. I'm not sure why I never knew that, I've seen the book many times. She has the most beautiful practice.
I'm exhausted and I just ate my weight in cheese. Which I think is ok because I haven't eaten much else all day.
I'm even too tired to use the F word.
I practiced in the new Prana that I got from Cranky on Sunday. Prana is very comfy! I may buy some more from her, if she has any more Larges left on payday. I also got 'Anatomy of Hatha Yoga' and the Matthew Sweeney book from her. I'm so glad she recommended the anatomy book, it's already helped immensely. In addition, I ordered the big gigantic Yoga book (Yoga Journal), which came on Friday, and also the Third and Fourth series Encinitas DVD. BF is so cute, he watched the whole thing with me. He actually seemed moderately interested. I looooooove the Yoga book. I love yoga pictures, I'm such a dork. Plus, I didn't realize that my first mysore teacher was in there. I'm not sure why I never knew that, I've seen the book many times. She has the most beautiful practice.
I'm exhausted and I just ate my weight in cheese. Which I think is ok because I haven't eaten much else all day.
I'm even too tired to use the F word.
Neglected blog
Alert, this post has almost nothing to do about ASS-TANGA or even yoga. It's my personal life over the last few days.
I feel as though I have neglected my blog. However, in my defense I have been working some serious hours, plus trying to spend some quality time with BF AND trying to practice ASS-TANGA YOGA (or even any kind of yoga for that matter) in the midst of all of it. Here is the rundown:
Last week the director (boss's boss) basically said 'you have to have all of these users converted to the new email system by April 11. (Never mind the fact that I'm supposed to go to LA from April 2-7). This AFTER we decided to move said e-mail systems to a new storage unit, thus requiring a total rebuild. So most of my life has been taken up with rebuilding the system and moving users.
On Saturday (after working Friday night until maybe 9pm), I got up, went to the 8:30am vinyasa class here locally in PW, came home, showered and got presentable then BF and I took a field trip to Arthur Avenue. Yummy food and cool stores that sell all kinds of Italian food-related things. It's a meat-lover's paradise, BF was in hog heaven. We left the Bronx and took the scenic route home through Upper Manhattan. BF had never seen Inwood, Hudson Heights, Washington Heights or the Cathedral of St. John the Divine. Went home, had a little dinner, watched tv, went to bed about 11?
On Sunday, I got up at 5am to move mailboxes. I went back to sleep after that was finished at about 5:45 and woke up late for mysore at 9. I didn't make it onto the train until the 9:10 (I like to get the 8:40 if not the 8:10 on Sundays), so didn't show up to the Shala until 10:30.....BECAUSE SOME FUCKHEAD DECIDED TO TAKE A STROLL DOWN THE LIRR TRACKS. Fuck. We sat on the train for like 20 extra minutes outside of Woodside waiting for the cops to come get this asshole. When I got to the Shala......FUCK, NO TEACHER. We had a sub. Fuck fuck fuck. I have to say, I didn't much care for her, but it takes me a while to warm up to a yoga teacher, so it's most likely me and not her. Had a lackluster but ok practice, I was glad I went so that's what matters. That'll teach me to not check the schedule before I leave. Then I had to run uptown to the Upper West Side to run an errand. I didn't get home until almost 2:30. Then, dinner with BF's Aunt and Uncle. In Smithtown. Or, bumfuck, as I like to call it. FUCK. Then home, more working and supposedly sleep.
Also had depressing phone call with my mother on Sunday afternoon during the drive to Bumfuck, er, Smithtown. My grandmother (Alzheimer's, nursing home) is slowly passing away. Apparently she's not very responsive, yet she cries all the time. She can no longer walk and her eyes don't even focus any more. I believe my mother and my uncle are preparing to put her in hospice care. I know this sounds horrible, but I'm ready for her to pass. SHE'S ready for her to pass. What a horrible disease this is! It's just so unfair to be trapped in your own body! :(
I was on call this weekend so on Sunday night I was paged at 10:30pm (I was asleep, was hoping to go to the city to class), 4:30am (had to talk to someone in Romania for 10 minutes.....that's fun when you've been awakened from a dead sleep, let me tell ya!), went back to sleep til about 6 (there was no way in hell I was going to class at this point) and went downstairs to shower, discovering that we had some kind of major issue and the data center had been trying to get ahold of me for like 45 minutes. Oops. Hurried into work where I sat on what we call a 'Sev1', or Severity 1, call until about 10am. I thought I was going to be skewered for not recognizing the widespread issue right away but thankfully I dodged a bullet.
So, yesterday I'm trucking along, working on my conversion. I remove the next server that has to be rebuilt and went home. At about 8pm I get an e-mail from the boss that something is broken. I spend the next 5 hours staring at my computer trying to figure out how to fix the problem. I couldn't fix it so I went to bed, got up at about 5:30, sat in front of my computer again and miraculously figured it out in about an hour. FUCK.
No yoga. And seriously, if anyone needs yoga right now it's me. I don't even care what kind of fucking yoga it is right now. Fuck. I guess I'll try to practice at home in the morning if something doesn't fall on my head today. I swear, these last few months I feel like all the forces of the universe are conspiring to keep me from my yoga practice!
I feel as though I have neglected my blog. However, in my defense I have been working some serious hours, plus trying to spend some quality time with BF AND trying to practice ASS-TANGA YOGA (or even any kind of yoga for that matter) in the midst of all of it. Here is the rundown:
Last week the director (boss's boss) basically said 'you have to have all of these users converted to the new email system by April 11. (Never mind the fact that I'm supposed to go to LA from April 2-7). This AFTER we decided to move said e-mail systems to a new storage unit, thus requiring a total rebuild. So most of my life has been taken up with rebuilding the system and moving users.
On Saturday (after working Friday night until maybe 9pm), I got up, went to the 8:30am vinyasa class here locally in PW, came home, showered and got presentable then BF and I took a field trip to Arthur Avenue. Yummy food and cool stores that sell all kinds of Italian food-related things. It's a meat-lover's paradise, BF was in hog heaven. We left the Bronx and took the scenic route home through Upper Manhattan. BF had never seen Inwood, Hudson Heights, Washington Heights or the Cathedral of St. John the Divine. Went home, had a little dinner, watched tv, went to bed about 11?
On Sunday, I got up at 5am to move mailboxes. I went back to sleep after that was finished at about 5:45 and woke up late for mysore at 9. I didn't make it onto the train until the 9:10 (I like to get the 8:40 if not the 8:10 on Sundays), so didn't show up to the Shala until 10:30.....BECAUSE SOME FUCKHEAD DECIDED TO TAKE A STROLL DOWN THE LIRR TRACKS. Fuck. We sat on the train for like 20 extra minutes outside of Woodside waiting for the cops to come get this asshole. When I got to the Shala......FUCK, NO TEACHER. We had a sub. Fuck fuck fuck. I have to say, I didn't much care for her, but it takes me a while to warm up to a yoga teacher, so it's most likely me and not her. Had a lackluster but ok practice, I was glad I went so that's what matters. That'll teach me to not check the schedule before I leave. Then I had to run uptown to the Upper West Side to run an errand. I didn't get home until almost 2:30. Then, dinner with BF's Aunt and Uncle. In Smithtown. Or, bumfuck, as I like to call it. FUCK. Then home, more working and supposedly sleep.
Also had depressing phone call with my mother on Sunday afternoon during the drive to Bumfuck, er, Smithtown. My grandmother (Alzheimer's, nursing home) is slowly passing away. Apparently she's not very responsive, yet she cries all the time. She can no longer walk and her eyes don't even focus any more. I believe my mother and my uncle are preparing to put her in hospice care. I know this sounds horrible, but I'm ready for her to pass. SHE'S ready for her to pass. What a horrible disease this is! It's just so unfair to be trapped in your own body! :(
I was on call this weekend so on Sunday night I was paged at 10:30pm (I was asleep, was hoping to go to the city to class), 4:30am (had to talk to someone in Romania for 10 minutes.....that's fun when you've been awakened from a dead sleep, let me tell ya!), went back to sleep til about 6 (there was no way in hell I was going to class at this point) and went downstairs to shower, discovering that we had some kind of major issue and the data center had been trying to get ahold of me for like 45 minutes. Oops. Hurried into work where I sat on what we call a 'Sev1', or Severity 1, call until about 10am. I thought I was going to be skewered for not recognizing the widespread issue right away but thankfully I dodged a bullet.
So, yesterday I'm trucking along, working on my conversion. I remove the next server that has to be rebuilt and went home. At about 8pm I get an e-mail from the boss that something is broken. I spend the next 5 hours staring at my computer trying to figure out how to fix the problem. I couldn't fix it so I went to bed, got up at about 5:30, sat in front of my computer again and miraculously figured it out in about an hour. FUCK.
No yoga. And seriously, if anyone needs yoga right now it's me. I don't even care what kind of fucking yoga it is right now. Fuck. I guess I'll try to practice at home in the morning if something doesn't fall on my head today. I swear, these last few months I feel like all the forces of the universe are conspiring to keep me from my yoga practice!
Friday, March 21, 2008
I'm still working but I'm posting anyway!
So there.
The director of my group decided that my e-mail conversion project for 1200+ users needed to be stepped up a bit so he told the CIO that we would have it done by April 11. Without asking me. Very nice. On top of that I had to rebuild both systems (clusters) from scratch because they decided we needed to be on a different SAN. Again, very nice. So I've been working like mad to get these servers built and now I have to actually get the users on them. Please shoot me! A LOT of diet pepsi consumed. It's my stress thing. I can feel that I need water though. Later I'll go get a big bottle of Poland Spring from the cafeteria. Oh, and in the midst of this conversion I'm supposed to go to LA. Ha!
In other news, I tried to practice bit yesterday morning. I did some sun sals, a little finishing. Today is a moon day, thank goodness. I should have practiced but I'm very grateful for the 'official' day off. I've been up until 9 or 10 every night working at home after I leave the office at 5. I will go to my 'hot vinyasa' class tomorrow and to the Shala on Sunday. Speaking of moon days, the full moon (almost) was gorgeous last night. It's freezing here still, 34 degrees this morning when I left the houe. And it rained all day Wednesday, I got nasty mud on my new pants which did not come out in the wash last night. Very annoyed! They are sooooo comfy, my new pants. I'm ignoring that they're the 'wrong' size.
That's all for now, nothing very exciting going on over here in LIA-land. Just work, work and more work.
Send good thoughts to Anna, she should be out of surgery now!
The director of my group decided that my e-mail conversion project for 1200+ users needed to be stepped up a bit so he told the CIO that we would have it done by April 11. Without asking me. Very nice. On top of that I had to rebuild both systems (clusters) from scratch because they decided we needed to be on a different SAN. Again, very nice. So I've been working like mad to get these servers built and now I have to actually get the users on them. Please shoot me! A LOT of diet pepsi consumed. It's my stress thing. I can feel that I need water though. Later I'll go get a big bottle of Poland Spring from the cafeteria. Oh, and in the midst of this conversion I'm supposed to go to LA. Ha!
In other news, I tried to practice bit yesterday morning. I did some sun sals, a little finishing. Today is a moon day, thank goodness. I should have practiced but I'm very grateful for the 'official' day off. I've been up until 9 or 10 every night working at home after I leave the office at 5. I will go to my 'hot vinyasa' class tomorrow and to the Shala on Sunday. Speaking of moon days, the full moon (almost) was gorgeous last night. It's freezing here still, 34 degrees this morning when I left the houe. And it rained all day Wednesday, I got nasty mud on my new pants which did not come out in the wash last night. Very annoyed! They are sooooo comfy, my new pants. I'm ignoring that they're the 'wrong' size.
That's all for now, nothing very exciting going on over here in LIA-land. Just work, work and more work.
Send good thoughts to Anna, she should be out of surgery now!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Still working
No time for posting. But I wouldn't want the three people reading this blog to think I had disappeared. Still here. Working. Working. Working. Maybe time for posting tonight. Tomorrow is Anna's surgery (I think). So send her some good vibes!
xoxoxo
LIA
xoxoxo
LIA
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Working....and a meme from Annabella
I've been too busy working to post. And I didn't make it to the shala this morning, so I'm going this afternoon. I am. Really, I am. I brought my new yoga clothes that I got from Cranky.
I don't have much to say, so I'm doing the meme I stole from Anna's blog.
1. What is your occupation? E-mail engineer.
2. What color are your socks right now? White (and damp, ugh)
3. What are you listening to right now? Two women in my office yapping.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Low-fat multi-berry muffin
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Is there any other way to drive???? I've heard of those automatic thingies....
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Green
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My mother, I think. I hate the phone.
8. What's your favorite yoga pose? Ustrasana
9. How old are you today? 36.
10. Favorite drink? Diet pepsi.
11. What is your favorite sport to watch? NCAA football, GO NOLES!!!!!!!
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? If so what color? Yes. Currently auburn, has been blonde also.
13. Pets? Rocky the Boston Terrier and Rufus the Pug. And the BF.
14. Favorite cake? Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting.
15. Last movie you saw? Ugh, something the BF thought was bad, I can't remember.
16. Favorite day of the year? Memorial Day.
17. What do you do to vent anger? I don't.
18. What was your favorite toy as a child? I was more of a book kind of kid.
19. What is your favorite, fall or spring? Spring.
20. Hugs or kisses? Ok.
21. Cherry or Blueberry? Raspberry.
22. Do you want your friends to respond? Yes!
23. Who is most likely to respond? No clue.
24. Who is least likely to respond? No clue.
25. Living arrangements? Banished to the burbs.
26. When was the last time you cried? Ladies holiday.
27. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes, an old yoga mat
28. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Ilene, I've known her since sixth grade.
30. Favorite smell? the ocean.
31. What/who inspires you? My friends, Christine, Anissa, Melissa, Sheri, Julia. Also my cousin Freida.
32. What are you afraid of? Being laughed at
33. Hamburgers? Sometimes.
34. Favorite car? Mine.
36. Number of keys on your key ring? One on the car key ring, two on the house key ring
37. How many years at your current job? two months.
38. Favorite day of the week? Fridays.
39. How many states have you lived in? Floriday, NY, NJ and California.
40. What’s your dream job? Hmmmmm, you mean this isn't it??? ha.
I don't have much to say, so I'm doing the meme I stole from Anna's blog.
1. What is your occupation? E-mail engineer.
2. What color are your socks right now? White (and damp, ugh)
3. What are you listening to right now? Two women in my office yapping.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Low-fat multi-berry muffin
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Is there any other way to drive???? I've heard of those automatic thingies....
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Green
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My mother, I think. I hate the phone.
8. What's your favorite yoga pose? Ustrasana
9. How old are you today? 36.
10. Favorite drink? Diet pepsi.
11. What is your favorite sport to watch? NCAA football, GO NOLES!!!!!!!
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? If so what color? Yes. Currently auburn, has been blonde also.
13. Pets? Rocky the Boston Terrier and Rufus the Pug. And the BF.
14. Favorite cake? Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting.
15. Last movie you saw? Ugh, something the BF thought was bad, I can't remember.
16. Favorite day of the year? Memorial Day.
17. What do you do to vent anger? I don't.
18. What was your favorite toy as a child? I was more of a book kind of kid.
19. What is your favorite, fall or spring? Spring.
20. Hugs or kisses? Ok.
21. Cherry or Blueberry? Raspberry.
22. Do you want your friends to respond? Yes!
23. Who is most likely to respond? No clue.
24. Who is least likely to respond? No clue.
25. Living arrangements? Banished to the burbs.
26. When was the last time you cried? Ladies holiday.
27. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes, an old yoga mat
28. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Ilene, I've known her since sixth grade.
30. Favorite smell? the ocean.
31. What/who inspires you? My friends, Christine, Anissa, Melissa, Sheri, Julia. Also my cousin Freida.
32. What are you afraid of? Being laughed at
33. Hamburgers? Sometimes.
34. Favorite car? Mine.
36. Number of keys on your key ring? One on the car key ring, two on the house key ring
37. How many years at your current job? two months.
38. Favorite day of the week? Fridays.
39. How many states have you lived in? Floriday, NY, NJ and California.
40. What’s your dream job? Hmmmmm, you mean this isn't it??? ha.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Totally forgot....
I bought a Manduka eco-mat on Sunday. It is frigging fantastic. I've been a Jade Harmony mat devotee for a long time but I can't stand the shedding any more, and it's so freaking narrow. The Manduka is really heavy but I LOVE IT. It's soft to the touch, sticky right away, unlike the black Manduka but no shedding, and really wide and long. It's fantastic. The best $70 I've spent in a long time. I highly recommend!!!!
Slooooooow practice
My God, 4:30am is early. Too early. However, the LIRR graciously dimmed the lights on the 5:09 train from Port to Penn this morning. I am grateful to them for that.
Friday we got the report cards of the future step-children (can I just call them FSC???). They were fantastic, really, they couldn't have been better. Z improved on everything he needed to and T is still at the tippy top of everything. He even managed to improve his 'unsportsmanlike conduct' knock from last time. He gets VERY frustrated if he doesn't perform as expected in sports activities. So we took them to Cheeseburger Cheeseburger. And I had a Cheeseburger. Very few fries though. It was yum.
Saturday I took a vinyasa class at the local yoga studio. Then I went shopping. For pants. Yeah. Well, I bought two size 14's and one size 12. So what. SO FUCKING WHAT. I'm comfortable, so there. F YOU, stupid evil voice in my head!!!!!! And when I lose these 15 lbs. I will have these pants altered, just like the ones before them. So there.
I cooked the men of the house a roast. It was pretty good, I had a little bit myself. Z ate like 10 rolls. The boy is such a carb-o-holic.
I got up early on Sunday and went to practice with Batman. Apparently there is some sort of track work going on so we had to get off at Shea Stadium and take the 7 train in. For those of you who know the NYC transit system, I won't have to explain any more than that.....
It was a good practice yesterday. Batman cranked me into Marichy C. Twas very nice. I did three whole backbends, yay. I think this stopping at Navasana thing is going to work out just fine. The question is, how am I going to explain myself when I start adding poses back in???? Oh well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. After class I had breakfast with my friend and her boyfriend. I hadn't met him yet, so that was nice. He's VERY cute and so nice. I hope it works out for her, he seems like a really good guy and she deserves just such a man.
I went home and slept for two hours after Sunday's class. Apparently the BF and the children came home from their movie and were downstairs for over an hour, I never heard a thing. Had the white noise machine on full blast. I was exhausted. When I got up, BF came home from taking the children home and we had a little bite to eat down the street. I had a big salad with a little chicken. I have been very happy with the eating this weekend. I've had some fattening/sweet things but not too crazy. Plus plenty of exercise, yoga plus I took a long 'power walk' up and down the hills of Port Washington on Saturday.
Got up at 4:30am this morning (yeah, it's a sickness, this thing we do). On the train ride in I questioned my sanity. I got to the shala and practiced very slowly. There's some kind of nagging pain in my right hip that comes and goes. It's in the back, kind of high on the hip, I would love to find out exactly what it is. But, very few knees down in the sun sals and also very few in the vinyasas so I think my strength and stamina is finally coming back. Still no jumpbacks though, maybe next week. Flexibility is still hiding out there somewhere. Perhaps more nighttime 'mini-practices' with hip openers. I need to get BF to take some pics.
I've been here for an hour and a half and have done NO WORK other than talk to my boss on the phone for about 20 minutes. Very nice.
Blubber forecast is still 40% and dropping.
Friday we got the report cards of the future step-children (can I just call them FSC???). They were fantastic, really, they couldn't have been better. Z improved on everything he needed to and T is still at the tippy top of everything. He even managed to improve his 'unsportsmanlike conduct' knock from last time. He gets VERY frustrated if he doesn't perform as expected in sports activities. So we took them to Cheeseburger Cheeseburger. And I had a Cheeseburger. Very few fries though. It was yum.
Saturday I took a vinyasa class at the local yoga studio. Then I went shopping. For pants. Yeah. Well, I bought two size 14's and one size 12. So what. SO FUCKING WHAT. I'm comfortable, so there. F YOU, stupid evil voice in my head!!!!!! And when I lose these 15 lbs. I will have these pants altered, just like the ones before them. So there.
I cooked the men of the house a roast. It was pretty good, I had a little bit myself. Z ate like 10 rolls. The boy is such a carb-o-holic.
I got up early on Sunday and went to practice with Batman. Apparently there is some sort of track work going on so we had to get off at Shea Stadium and take the 7 train in. For those of you who know the NYC transit system, I won't have to explain any more than that.....
It was a good practice yesterday. Batman cranked me into Marichy C. Twas very nice. I did three whole backbends, yay. I think this stopping at Navasana thing is going to work out just fine. The question is, how am I going to explain myself when I start adding poses back in???? Oh well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. After class I had breakfast with my friend and her boyfriend. I hadn't met him yet, so that was nice. He's VERY cute and so nice. I hope it works out for her, he seems like a really good guy and she deserves just such a man.
I went home and slept for two hours after Sunday's class. Apparently the BF and the children came home from their movie and were downstairs for over an hour, I never heard a thing. Had the white noise machine on full blast. I was exhausted. When I got up, BF came home from taking the children home and we had a little bite to eat down the street. I had a big salad with a little chicken. I have been very happy with the eating this weekend. I've had some fattening/sweet things but not too crazy. Plus plenty of exercise, yoga plus I took a long 'power walk' up and down the hills of Port Washington on Saturday.
Got up at 4:30am this morning (yeah, it's a sickness, this thing we do). On the train ride in I questioned my sanity. I got to the shala and practiced very slowly. There's some kind of nagging pain in my right hip that comes and goes. It's in the back, kind of high on the hip, I would love to find out exactly what it is. But, very few knees down in the sun sals and also very few in the vinyasas so I think my strength and stamina is finally coming back. Still no jumpbacks though, maybe next week. Flexibility is still hiding out there somewhere. Perhaps more nighttime 'mini-practices' with hip openers. I need to get BF to take some pics.
I've been here for an hour and a half and have done NO WORK other than talk to my boss on the phone for about 20 minutes. Very nice.
Blubber forecast is still 40% and dropping.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Searching for a positive body image
Lately I've been watching 'How to Look Good Naked' (and no, I don't normally watch Lifetime). I cry every time I watch it (I'm a sap, don't tell my all-male coworker group, they think I'm a tough bitch, ha!). One, because all of the women they have had on the show are beautiful, healthy, normal sized women who don't see themselves clearly and that's always sad and two, because I always see myself. They have this segment where they line up a bunch of 'larger' women (probably between a size 12 and size 18) smallest to largest, in their underwear. Then they have the featured woman pick where she thinks she belongs in terms of her size in the lineup. And they always pick at least two sizes larger than they really are. I stopped at Old Navy very quickly Wednesday night after dinner to see what they had in the way of pants. I tried on some 10's and 12's and even the 12's didn't really fit. It totally threw me for a loop. So today, I'm thinking, is my worth really in the size of my pants?????? Why is my ability to feel attractive so closely correlated to my clothing size? I know that I need to lose some of this weight to be healthier, I'm petrified of things like heart disease, diabetes, digestive diseases like colon cancer. And I will certainly keep striving for that. But why is my self esteem all wrapped up in whether I can still fit into my size 10 designer jeans (I can't, by the way!)? I hate this struggle and I feel like I've gone through it every single day of my life since I can remember. It's exhausting and I'm tired of it but I can't figure out how to give it up. And I KNOW that no matter how much weight I lose, the judgemental voice will always be there. I know in my head that this is not about how thin I am. But really, what IS it about then?
Home practice today. I worked hard in the sun salutations, did most of the standing sequence then did some hip openers and backbending. Shalabasana, Ustrasana, Dhanurasana. No UD though. I did prop my self up on a block for some bridge, just to work on finding the feet. :)
I ordered some good stuff from Amazon with a gift certificate my brother sent me for my birthday back in January. World Tour 2000 with SKPJ, the Encinitas DVD where Guruji does led third series and the Yoga book by Linda Sparrowe. I love the pictures in that book. I used to practice with one of the models for that book, Lauren Petersen. She has THE MOST AMAZING PRACTICE I've ever seen. And she's so nice, really the most down to earth person ever. So it'll be cool to have a big book full of pictures of her and others. I'm also buying a bunch of stuff from Cranky today. Yoga clothes, the Matthew Sweeney book, and the Anatomy of Hatha Yoga. Fun! I looooooove yoga books. I'm such a geek.
Cranky is coming to visit us and practice with us in our Shala!!!!! Yippeeeeee!!!!!
Home practice today. I worked hard in the sun salutations, did most of the standing sequence then did some hip openers and backbending. Shalabasana, Ustrasana, Dhanurasana. No UD though. I did prop my self up on a block for some bridge, just to work on finding the feet. :)
I ordered some good stuff from Amazon with a gift certificate my brother sent me for my birthday back in January. World Tour 2000 with SKPJ, the Encinitas DVD where Guruji does led third series and the Yoga book by Linda Sparrowe. I love the pictures in that book. I used to practice with one of the models for that book, Lauren Petersen. She has THE MOST AMAZING PRACTICE I've ever seen. And she's so nice, really the most down to earth person ever. So it'll be cool to have a big book full of pictures of her and others. I'm also buying a bunch of stuff from Cranky today. Yoga clothes, the Matthew Sweeney book, and the Anatomy of Hatha Yoga. Fun! I looooooove yoga books. I'm such a geek.
Cranky is coming to visit us and practice with us in our Shala!!!!! Yippeeeeee!!!!!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Breaking things
I totally forgot to post about what I broke at work yesterday. It was extremely stressful. And the thing was, I knew it was going to break when I did it. But I had to. So I was in the office until 8pm with one of my coworkers on the phone with Microsoft trying to get it fixed. Ugh, I hate dealing with environments where I don't know what's going on! It was a very public break too, down for hours. Sheesh. And I was STILL able to get up at 4:15am, get on the 5:36 train and do my 'currently abbreviated' practice. Woo hoo! yay me! Now for two days of home practice. This will be the test....
Blubber forecast 40% and dropping
Perhaps some of this weight is coming off. Just a teeny tiny bit. I think I'll go to Old Navy and buy some inexpensive pants. I need some pants for work (I used to wear jeans and sneakers or flip flops, especially in LA, but I can only do that on Fridays now) but I really don't want to spend a ton of money on clothes while I'm at this size. I know that's lame but I don't care. I won't give in to this extra weight.
Practice was nice today even though I was a little tired. Anna was there and man does she get there early! She was already at eka pada sirsasana. FWIW, her LBH poses are AWESOME. Very flexy, that girl. I asked some newbie dude to scootch over so I could be next to Anna. He hadn't started yet so it wasn't too terribly rude, was it? I didn't want to be in front of all the bags or next to the wall either. I have to say, it's really nice that there's a friendly face in the shala other than the teacher. The newbie dude had the book with him and was using it but turned to the left for trikonasana instead of to the right so when he came up to stand I whispered to him to always turn right. He was too cute, I love the real baby newbies (as opposed to your average beginner like myself). I do love BW also, he's SUCH a good teacher. He's the only teacher who can get my head to my knee is marichy A, and it doesn't even feel that intense. Now I just have to figure out why I can't bind myself. It makes no sense to me. Whenever someone assists me, all they do is tuck my hands together so I know it's not that far. Ugh. We also had a giggle today about the EXTREMELY LOUD CHANTER. I know some people don't even want to hear a soft chant but that doesn't bother me; as a matter of fact, when I first moved back to NY and started practicing at the shala, I was a little embarassed that I was one of the only ones who didn't say it out loud. This person, though, is DISTURBING. I mean, it's LOUD; if you're all in your head at that moment, it will literally make you jump out of your skin. I shouldn't complain, though, because my top had a really weird icky smell to it even though it is clean. Not sure what that's about, I think it's time to ditch the Oxumwear. The shala has some nice looking Prana pants and they are all size large, yay! Also need a new mat, I'm thinking of getting the Manduka eco-mat instead of another Harmony. Any opinions from blogland?
I've lost my backbend completely. I can no longer come up. It's weird. For a while there I was making A LOT of progress. For a few weeks I was even able to come up three times! But now I'm stopping at Marichy C and I still can't come up. I get to the top of my head then can't get any farther. So I did some bridges, whatever. I'm not going to stress it. Still taking my knees to the floor 80% of the time too. Again, whatever. Hopefully it will all come back soon. For whatever reason, Ladies Holiday has dragged on forever this month. It's still here, barely, 6 days later. That's kind of a long time for me. Ever since I went off the damn Pill everything is much more unpredictable. Ugh. No inversions today, decided I might have made things worse by doing inversions on Sunday and Monday.
I need some core/abs/low back exercises that I can do on my living room floor in front of the tv with very little extraneous equipment. If you have anything good, I'm all ears. I've been doing a mini-yoga practice at night in front of the tv, just hip openers and virasana and stuff. I'd like to add some ab stuff to that, it's time to get off my ass and get my core in gear. So if you're reading this and you have suggestions, please help!!!!
Why do people talk at full volume on the LIRR at 5:30 in the morning? Why? Why why why?
Practice was nice today even though I was a little tired. Anna was there and man does she get there early! She was already at eka pada sirsasana. FWIW, her LBH poses are AWESOME. Very flexy, that girl. I asked some newbie dude to scootch over so I could be next to Anna. He hadn't started yet so it wasn't too terribly rude, was it? I didn't want to be in front of all the bags or next to the wall either. I have to say, it's really nice that there's a friendly face in the shala other than the teacher. The newbie dude had the book with him and was using it but turned to the left for trikonasana instead of to the right so when he came up to stand I whispered to him to always turn right. He was too cute, I love the real baby newbies (as opposed to your average beginner like myself). I do love BW also, he's SUCH a good teacher. He's the only teacher who can get my head to my knee is marichy A, and it doesn't even feel that intense. Now I just have to figure out why I can't bind myself. It makes no sense to me. Whenever someone assists me, all they do is tuck my hands together so I know it's not that far. Ugh. We also had a giggle today about the EXTREMELY LOUD CHANTER. I know some people don't even want to hear a soft chant but that doesn't bother me; as a matter of fact, when I first moved back to NY and started practicing at the shala, I was a little embarassed that I was one of the only ones who didn't say it out loud. This person, though, is DISTURBING. I mean, it's LOUD; if you're all in your head at that moment, it will literally make you jump out of your skin. I shouldn't complain, though, because my top had a really weird icky smell to it even though it is clean. Not sure what that's about, I think it's time to ditch the Oxumwear. The shala has some nice looking Prana pants and they are all size large, yay! Also need a new mat, I'm thinking of getting the Manduka eco-mat instead of another Harmony. Any opinions from blogland?
I've lost my backbend completely. I can no longer come up. It's weird. For a while there I was making A LOT of progress. For a few weeks I was even able to come up three times! But now I'm stopping at Marichy C and I still can't come up. I get to the top of my head then can't get any farther. So I did some bridges, whatever. I'm not going to stress it. Still taking my knees to the floor 80% of the time too. Again, whatever. Hopefully it will all come back soon. For whatever reason, Ladies Holiday has dragged on forever this month. It's still here, barely, 6 days later. That's kind of a long time for me. Ever since I went off the damn Pill everything is much more unpredictable. Ugh. No inversions today, decided I might have made things worse by doing inversions on Sunday and Monday.
I need some core/abs/low back exercises that I can do on my living room floor in front of the tv with very little extraneous equipment. If you have anything good, I'm all ears. I've been doing a mini-yoga practice at night in front of the tv, just hip openers and virasana and stuff. I'd like to add some ab stuff to that, it's time to get off my ass and get my core in gear. So if you're reading this and you have suggestions, please help!!!!
Why do people talk at full volume on the LIRR at 5:30 in the morning? Why? Why why why?
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
Get a hobby!
OK, my boss and his wife need to get a hobby!!!!! Apparently she is going into labor (third child) like right now. I was hoping I would get another week before being thrown out here on my own. Today I'm doing stuff I have no idea how to. Grrrr, I hate that. Fuck. If they think I'm going to fucking work in Port Washington on Wednesday and not go to class they are out of their minds!!!!! I'm way too frigging sleep deprived for this. 4:30 came way too early today for this nonsense. Double-fuck! Must get crack (aka Starbucks) and some sugar right away.
More backsliding
I went back to the shala, back to Batman on Sunday. I saw Anna and Eeyore there, that was nice. It was a nice, mellow Sunday, not as crowded as usual. I assume due to the David Williams workshop. As I began to practice I realized just how much strength, stamina and flexibility I really have lost due to my slacker home practices. However, I'm trying to let go of my frustration and just get back on track. I skipped Mari D, did Navasana then tried backbending. Not happening. If I can't 'feel my feet' and I feel like it's going to be too much weight in the arms, I don't do it any more. I just end up crunching the hell out of my lower back and I REFUSE TO DO IT ANY MORE. Eeyore is sooooo sweet and he has the nicest practice. Anna too. And the best part was there was a chick in there with bigger boobs than mine!!!! Woo hoo!!!!! I always feel like such a freak in there with all the skinny teeny tiny girls. I say, good for her! Oh, and Batman put on a cd of chanting or some such. It was nice at first but then it started to sound really weird. It did distract me from the constant self-berating voice in my head though, so I was ok with it.
I got up at 4:30am this morning to go to the Shala again. Practiced with BW, I forgot just how lovely it was to go to his class. He's just soooooo great. I practiced gently and was still stiff as hell but I'm hoping that will go away in a few weeks. Also did some hip openers last night while watching tv, made BF give me some adjustments. He'll be the only yoga teacher who has never actually practiced yoga, ha! Home practice tomorrow, and back to the Shala on Wednesday morning.
I got up at 4:30am this morning to go to the Shala again. Practiced with BW, I forgot just how lovely it was to go to his class. He's just soooooo great. I practiced gently and was still stiff as hell but I'm hoping that will go away in a few weeks. Also did some hip openers last night while watching tv, made BF give me some adjustments. He'll be the only yoga teacher who has never actually practiced yoga, ha! Home practice tomorrow, and back to the Shala on Wednesday morning.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
Isn't that the way the song goes? It rained all day. And we lost power here in our little section of Port Washington for a few hours. The BF and I didn't end up going out to the fancy steak house, we just went up the street to a local place instead. When the power went out, BF started FREAKING OUT: 'I'm bored. What are we going to do? I can't just sit here and stare at the walls all night.' Ugh, like a child.
I went to the 'hot vinyasa' class again today. I think I like the teacher, she cracks me up. She reminds me of how I might be if I were a yoga teacher. No one is allowed to slack, you have to try your hardest (without hurting yourself), you're allowed to fail as long as you try and she curses too. Cracks me up. She's a great cheerleader. I try to ignore the fact that she's an Ana Forrest devotee......not that there's anything wrong with that. It's a fun class and the heat is nice. It's not bikram heat, that would make me crazy but it's nice and cozy warm. Problem is, I think I injured myself slightly today. I'm not exactlY sure what I did but when it came time for 'inversion of your choice', I decided to do headstand with the wall (crim, yes, bad lady). I set up my arms, put my head down and when I lifted my hips I felt this searing pain that ran under my right boob all the way around my side to under my shoulder. I mean it HURT. I sat up for a few minutes, tried child's pose. I was hoping it was just gas (not uncommon in my naughty digestive system) but the pain wouldn't go away. Finally it subsided enough that I got into headstand for a few minutes but it's still there. It moved from the back to the front and now it's just kind of a dull ache when I move certain ways or take a deep breath. I hope it doesn't screw up my first practice at the shala in weeks! Looking forward to going tomorrow and seeing Anna and hopefully Eeyore, that will be nice. Also looking forward to the rain ending!
I went to the 'hot vinyasa' class again today. I think I like the teacher, she cracks me up. She reminds me of how I might be if I were a yoga teacher. No one is allowed to slack, you have to try your hardest (without hurting yourself), you're allowed to fail as long as you try and she curses too. Cracks me up. She's a great cheerleader. I try to ignore the fact that she's an Ana Forrest devotee......not that there's anything wrong with that. It's a fun class and the heat is nice. It's not bikram heat, that would make me crazy but it's nice and cozy warm. Problem is, I think I injured myself slightly today. I'm not exactlY sure what I did but when it came time for 'inversion of your choice', I decided to do headstand with the wall (crim, yes, bad lady). I set up my arms, put my head down and when I lifted my hips I felt this searing pain that ran under my right boob all the way around my side to under my shoulder. I mean it HURT. I sat up for a few minutes, tried child's pose. I was hoping it was just gas (not uncommon in my naughty digestive system) but the pain wouldn't go away. Finally it subsided enough that I got into headstand for a few minutes but it's still there. It moved from the back to the front and now it's just kind of a dull ache when I move certain ways or take a deep breath. I hope it doesn't screw up my first practice at the shala in weeks! Looking forward to going tomorrow and seeing Anna and hopefully Eeyore, that will be nice. Also looking forward to the rain ending!
Friday, March 7, 2008
Quickie
I notice on the AYRI web site that the Florida trip has been fully cancelled, even Sharath and Saraswati aren't going. I hope Guruji is ok....
Zzzzzzzzz
I am sooooooo tired this morning. I went to bed after 10pm two nights in a row! Last night I didn't even get home until almost midnight. Am very pooped, and the Ladies' Holiday rages on. I'm at least two sizes larger than normal. And that's over and obove my January/February stress weight. No fun but hopefully it will be gone by Sunday so I can feel human again.
I went to the first lecture of the David Williams workshop last night. I'm glad I went, he's pretty entertaining and I like what he had to say. He talked for over two hours but I really took away (for myself) two things. The first is, if it hurts you're doing it wrong. I think a lot of times in ashtanga we forget that. I tend to think more along the lines of 'if it hurts, then I must not be capable/strong enough/flexible enough'. Funny how I always turn it to a negative connotation of the self. Currently the bhujapidasana, kurmasana, supta kurmasana sequence is what hurts me (and I can't even really do them anyway!). So I've made an executive decision. I'm pulling my practice back to Navasana for the forseeable future. I will miss baddha konasana, upavistha konasana, supta konasana (my personal all time favorite) but I think I've been hurting myself in bhujapidasana, kurmasana and supta kurmasana because I'm not ready for them. They were given to me by my teachers in LA, I think for the purpose of helping with the marichy's but it ain't working. Perhaps in my home practice I will do my lame attempts at bhuja and the kurmasanas just to get the hips to open up. I figure if I switch to Guy's, I'd get everything taken away after the Marichys anyway so what's the difference?
The second thing I took away was about the breathing. When you play a wind instrument for 14+ years, you belly breathe. That's just the way it is. In order to support all of the sound you're trying to make, you really have to get the whole abdominal cavity to fill up. But David had us try mula bandha and take deep breaths and I totally see what he's getting at. Perhaps that's why my stomach is not flat and I have no core strength? :) Have I been doing it wrong all this time? Maybe so. That is going to be my primary focus for the next few months, see if I can really strengthen the bandhas and forget about how deep in the stupid poses I'm getting. I mean, who cares, right? Well, I care but I'm going to try not to.
On a lighter note, I met Anna and Eeyore (who doesn't have a blog to link to, but I think he should!!!!). It was so nice to meet them, Anna is just like she seems in her blog, outgoing and friendly and sweet and funny. And Eeyore is sooooo nice. He's taking the whole workshop, good for him! I'm far too lazy plus the thought of getting into the minutiae of the primary series right now is a little too much for me. So I'll just go to my 'hot vinyasa' class tomorrow and to regular class with Batman on Sunday. It will be nice to have a friendly face at the shala sometimes too, so I was really glad to meet Anna. I'll be sad if she leaves for LA but very happy for her, I know what it's like to be stuck somewhere you don't really want to be. I'll be a little envious too.... :)
I went to the first lecture of the David Williams workshop last night. I'm glad I went, he's pretty entertaining and I like what he had to say. He talked for over two hours but I really took away (for myself) two things. The first is, if it hurts you're doing it wrong. I think a lot of times in ashtanga we forget that. I tend to think more along the lines of 'if it hurts, then I must not be capable/strong enough/flexible enough'. Funny how I always turn it to a negative connotation of the self. Currently the bhujapidasana, kurmasana, supta kurmasana sequence is what hurts me (and I can't even really do them anyway!). So I've made an executive decision. I'm pulling my practice back to Navasana for the forseeable future. I will miss baddha konasana, upavistha konasana, supta konasana (my personal all time favorite) but I think I've been hurting myself in bhujapidasana, kurmasana and supta kurmasana because I'm not ready for them. They were given to me by my teachers in LA, I think for the purpose of helping with the marichy's but it ain't working. Perhaps in my home practice I will do my lame attempts at bhuja and the kurmasanas just to get the hips to open up. I figure if I switch to Guy's, I'd get everything taken away after the Marichys anyway so what's the difference?
The second thing I took away was about the breathing. When you play a wind instrument for 14+ years, you belly breathe. That's just the way it is. In order to support all of the sound you're trying to make, you really have to get the whole abdominal cavity to fill up. But David had us try mula bandha and take deep breaths and I totally see what he's getting at. Perhaps that's why my stomach is not flat and I have no core strength? :) Have I been doing it wrong all this time? Maybe so. That is going to be my primary focus for the next few months, see if I can really strengthen the bandhas and forget about how deep in the stupid poses I'm getting. I mean, who cares, right? Well, I care but I'm going to try not to.
On a lighter note, I met Anna and Eeyore (who doesn't have a blog to link to, but I think he should!!!!). It was so nice to meet them, Anna is just like she seems in her blog, outgoing and friendly and sweet and funny. And Eeyore is sooooo nice. He's taking the whole workshop, good for him! I'm far too lazy plus the thought of getting into the minutiae of the primary series right now is a little too much for me. So I'll just go to my 'hot vinyasa' class tomorrow and to regular class with Batman on Sunday. It will be nice to have a friendly face at the shala sometimes too, so I was really glad to meet Anna. I'll be sad if she leaves for LA but very happy for her, I know what it's like to be stuck somewhere you don't really want to be. I'll be a little envious too.... :)
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Making new friends....
I actually did get up at 4:15am to go to the shala. And at about 4:20 or so, the cramps kicked in and I knew there was no way I was going to be able to practice this morning. So I popped two advil and went back upstairs to bed. Now I'm going to the David Williams lecture at 5:30. I'm hoping Anna keeps me awake! Very excited to meet her tonight, for sure. I'm sooooo sleepy. And hungry! Definitely must get something to eat before this shindig. I'm definitely looking forward to hearing his spiel though.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Another home practice
I managed a decent home practice today. I'm just happy when I get to the mat. No major revelations or progress. Just get on the damn mat and move through as much as I can. Am also on ladies holiday, so I'm being very criminal right now. I'll be even more criminal when I practice at the shala tomorrow morning but I don't care. It's been too long since I've been to an actual class. Other than that it's pretty boring around here. I'm going to parts of the David Williams workshop this weekend so that should be pretty cool. He's doing an intro to second series 'in a way that everyone at all levels can try and enjoy'. Ha, we'll see about that! I'm going to put my ego aside and just try. I would like to go to the primary series stuff but I can't get there that early on Friday evening and I already have plans for Saturday. Plus I just don't think my practice is up to that kind of scrutiny and breakdown. For right now I'd just like to struggle and suffer in silence. I'm hoping it gets better soon.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Onward and upward
What a rant that was yesterday! I was seriously over the edge. It happens every once in a while. I tell ya, being off the Pill has completely changed my cycle in some unwelcome ways! No more feeling sorry for myself (at least til next month....)
Practiced this morning, wasn't too bad. Did all of standing plus a few seated. I got started at 6am so I didn't have time for much. I've decided to lower my expectations a bit and just be happy when I make it to the mat. I did set a goal to do everything up to navasana for 80% of my home practices by the end of March. I think it's a good goal and it works for me because I don't do well without some kind of focused agenda. Now if I could just get this weight off..... Here are some pics from this weekend taken with the fancy camera.
Here's T in his boyscout uniform:
Here's Z in his cub scout uniform:
Here's Rocky resting on Mama's leg:
Here's Rufus resting on mama's leg:
It's a gorgeous day here in the Northeast. I see some tiny little white flowers starting to bloom on the banks of the creek that runs through the park across the street from our house. Was that a run-on sentence? Maybe that's part of my problem, it's been a particularly grey winter here, a sudden change from sunny southern california.
Practiced this morning, wasn't too bad. Did all of standing plus a few seated. I got started at 6am so I didn't have time for much. I've decided to lower my expectations a bit and just be happy when I make it to the mat. I did set a goal to do everything up to navasana for 80% of my home practices by the end of March. I think it's a good goal and it works for me because I don't do well without some kind of focused agenda. Now if I could just get this weight off..... Here are some pics from this weekend taken with the fancy camera.
Here's T in his boyscout uniform:
Here's Z in his cub scout uniform:
Here's Rocky resting on Mama's leg:
Here's Rufus resting on mama's leg:
It's a gorgeous day here in the Northeast. I see some tiny little white flowers starting to bloom on the banks of the creek that runs through the park across the street from our house. Was that a run-on sentence? Maybe that's part of my problem, it's been a particularly grey winter here, a sudden change from sunny southern california.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
In a funk
Alert -- below is mostly a rant on my personal life, only the first paragraph has anything to do with my practice.
Where to begin? I felt the pre-ladies' holiday rage begin on Friday while driving to work. It almost always hits while I'm driving because the stupidity of Port Washington drivers seems to increase exponentially when I'm PMS'ing. Friday at lunch I find out from BF that he will not be having dinner at his aunt and uncle's with the kids because his aunt is sick. In my hostile fog this of course hit me the wrong way. His family is so casual and go-with-the-flow and I'm so, well, not. I'm very structured (some would say rigid) and it's very difficult for me to deal with them. They are VERY nice people, though, don't get me wrong. So I then realize that I may not have time to get all the stuff done that I wanted to (cleaning, etc) and get even more cranky. I had been thinking about going to one of the classes at the local studio on Saturday morning, just to get moving but I wasn't sure because I knew it was major meltdown potential. When I got up Saturday morning I decided to go anyway. I went to their 'hot vinyasa' class which was neither hot nor vinyasa but I kind of enjoyed it and I liked the teacher. She was very no-nonsense, non-touchy-feely but a good coach/cheerleader, which I appreciated. I had a mini-meltdown during savasana but I managed to keep it together and I don't think anyone noticed. I did, however, have one of the best ustrasanas I've ever had. I think eventually that may be 'my' pose.
After class I'm freaking out about how heavy I've gotten and my brain is just spiraling. I keep repeating to myself that it's just PMS, it will pass but the tears remain close. The boss calls, something isn't working after I did some maintenance work this morning at 6am. We did a 'severity one' call and everyone got it figured out after about an hour. Then I find out BF and older child have to go all the way back out to Smithtown because the ex-wife has not included all of older child's cub scout patches that need to be affixed to his uniform. He and his father are supposed to go to his graduation from cub scouts to boy scouts and his uniform isn't ready. Can we talk about a mom who sends her children off completely unprepared and half-assed EVERY GODDAMNED TWO FUCKING WEEKS?????? This is one of the reasons I don't have children, it would make me nuts because I'd spend way too much time trying to make sure everything is 'perfect'. So they go to her house (an hour away--leaving me home alone with the other child, btw) and can't find the patches. They spend another two hours going to the boy scout store and getting new ones. Then I spend about an hour figuring out how to get the patches on and ironing, etc. So basically haven't really seen much of BF all weekend.
We all went out to dinner to a chain restaurant that I won't even name, I'm so horrified by it. It's 'kid friendly', you know. We had a forty minute wait to get seated then we didn't see our waitress for at least ten minutes. I was, of course, incensed, given my hormonal mood and I flagged down a host and bitched. She finally showed up after another five minutes. The children were badly behaved, as usual. Or maybe it's just that I don't have kids so I don't know how children should be expected to behave. Perhaps it's all me, this expectation that the kids understand how they should behave in public. They're not THREE for crying out loud. I always get the excuse that 'they're boys, that's how boys are' and I just don't agree with that. I think it's just an excuse for a lack of discipline and consistent behavior on the part of the parents. Again, maybe it's me. Maybe I'm just a hard-assed bitch. Yes, the woman who allows cartoons or Nickelodeon pre-teen crap to play on the tv in the living room in a continuous loop, the woman who allows video games to also be played in the living room, despite the fact that there's a tv with a dvd player AND an extra XBox 360 console upstairs in THEIR room (but the one in the living room has the 'live' subscription on the internet.....), the woman who watches stupid slapstick comedies that she hates with the rest of the boys in the house, the woman who bakes some kind of homemade brownie/cookie/cake every time they come visit, the woman who cooks/cleans/does laundry......this woman, she's a hard-assed bitch. She's mean, she's demanding, she's never pleased with anything. I'M SO FUCKING OVER IT.
By time time we got home I was exhausted so I hopped on the computer for a second and found out through Anna's blog that Teacher won't be there tomorrow, there's a sub. I totally freaked. I knew I couldn't do a new teacher tomorrow. Even if it had just been Teacher I probably would have melted down, which would be ok (sort of) but I couldn't stomach the thought of freaking out in front of someone I didn't even know. Then I started losing it because there's another decent practice passing me by. My weight is ballooning and it's mostly because I haven't been able to practice the way I usually do. I went to bed and BF came up a few minutes later so I started sobbing about how fat I am and how I need to practice and I can't and on and on and on. Poor BF, it sucks to be with a hormonal woman.
My practice embarasses me; my weight embarasses me. I don't even want to be at the Shala at the same time Anna is (we keep saying we should meet) because I'm embarassed to meet her or anyone else who practices there. I just want to slink in, do my lame practice and slink out. I'm actually tearing up as I write this. I'm just a mess.
AND WHY THE FUCK CAN'T THE EIGHT YEAR OLD LEARN TO PUT ON PANTS BEFORE HE COMES DOWNSTAIRS IN THE MORNING??????
Where to begin? I felt the pre-ladies' holiday rage begin on Friday while driving to work. It almost always hits while I'm driving because the stupidity of Port Washington drivers seems to increase exponentially when I'm PMS'ing. Friday at lunch I find out from BF that he will not be having dinner at his aunt and uncle's with the kids because his aunt is sick. In my hostile fog this of course hit me the wrong way. His family is so casual and go-with-the-flow and I'm so, well, not. I'm very structured (some would say rigid) and it's very difficult for me to deal with them. They are VERY nice people, though, don't get me wrong. So I then realize that I may not have time to get all the stuff done that I wanted to (cleaning, etc) and get even more cranky. I had been thinking about going to one of the classes at the local studio on Saturday morning, just to get moving but I wasn't sure because I knew it was major meltdown potential. When I got up Saturday morning I decided to go anyway. I went to their 'hot vinyasa' class which was neither hot nor vinyasa but I kind of enjoyed it and I liked the teacher. She was very no-nonsense, non-touchy-feely but a good coach/cheerleader, which I appreciated. I had a mini-meltdown during savasana but I managed to keep it together and I don't think anyone noticed. I did, however, have one of the best ustrasanas I've ever had. I think eventually that may be 'my' pose.
After class I'm freaking out about how heavy I've gotten and my brain is just spiraling. I keep repeating to myself that it's just PMS, it will pass but the tears remain close. The boss calls, something isn't working after I did some maintenance work this morning at 6am. We did a 'severity one' call and everyone got it figured out after about an hour. Then I find out BF and older child have to go all the way back out to Smithtown because the ex-wife has not included all of older child's cub scout patches that need to be affixed to his uniform. He and his father are supposed to go to his graduation from cub scouts to boy scouts and his uniform isn't ready. Can we talk about a mom who sends her children off completely unprepared and half-assed EVERY GODDAMNED TWO FUCKING WEEKS?????? This is one of the reasons I don't have children, it would make me nuts because I'd spend way too much time trying to make sure everything is 'perfect'. So they go to her house (an hour away--leaving me home alone with the other child, btw) and can't find the patches. They spend another two hours going to the boy scout store and getting new ones. Then I spend about an hour figuring out how to get the patches on and ironing, etc. So basically haven't really seen much of BF all weekend.
We all went out to dinner to a chain restaurant that I won't even name, I'm so horrified by it. It's 'kid friendly', you know. We had a forty minute wait to get seated then we didn't see our waitress for at least ten minutes. I was, of course, incensed, given my hormonal mood and I flagged down a host and bitched. She finally showed up after another five minutes. The children were badly behaved, as usual. Or maybe it's just that I don't have kids so I don't know how children should be expected to behave. Perhaps it's all me, this expectation that the kids understand how they should behave in public. They're not THREE for crying out loud. I always get the excuse that 'they're boys, that's how boys are' and I just don't agree with that. I think it's just an excuse for a lack of discipline and consistent behavior on the part of the parents. Again, maybe it's me. Maybe I'm just a hard-assed bitch. Yes, the woman who allows cartoons or Nickelodeon pre-teen crap to play on the tv in the living room in a continuous loop, the woman who allows video games to also be played in the living room, despite the fact that there's a tv with a dvd player AND an extra XBox 360 console upstairs in THEIR room (but the one in the living room has the 'live' subscription on the internet.....), the woman who watches stupid slapstick comedies that she hates with the rest of the boys in the house, the woman who bakes some kind of homemade brownie/cookie/cake every time they come visit, the woman who cooks/cleans/does laundry......this woman, she's a hard-assed bitch. She's mean, she's demanding, she's never pleased with anything. I'M SO FUCKING OVER IT.
By time time we got home I was exhausted so I hopped on the computer for a second and found out through Anna's blog that Teacher won't be there tomorrow, there's a sub. I totally freaked. I knew I couldn't do a new teacher tomorrow. Even if it had just been Teacher I probably would have melted down, which would be ok (sort of) but I couldn't stomach the thought of freaking out in front of someone I didn't even know. Then I started losing it because there's another decent practice passing me by. My weight is ballooning and it's mostly because I haven't been able to practice the way I usually do. I went to bed and BF came up a few minutes later so I started sobbing about how fat I am and how I need to practice and I can't and on and on and on. Poor BF, it sucks to be with a hormonal woman.
My practice embarasses me; my weight embarasses me. I don't even want to be at the Shala at the same time Anna is (we keep saying we should meet) because I'm embarassed to meet her or anyone else who practices there. I just want to slink in, do my lame practice and slink out. I'm actually tearing up as I write this. I'm just a mess.
AND WHY THE FUCK CAN'T THE EIGHT YEAR OLD LEARN TO PUT ON PANTS BEFORE HE COMES DOWNSTAIRS IN THE MORNING??????
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
