I got up at 5:15 (one of the dogs had his little paws on the side of the bed staring at me, it's hard to sleep through that). I went downstairs, let them out then curled up with them on the couch to watch some news. At 6 I turned off the tv (very important, must not practice with tv on) rolled out my mat and did all of standing, no backbends, no finishing. Yay! An accomplishment! I heavily modified. And I mean heavily. As in, a block was involved. As in, I did tree pose for ardha badha. I could tell that the bind was not an option anyway. I have such a hard time with balance poses that sometimes it's good for me to just take a step back and do my kindergarten yoga. I'm not so good at the grownup yoga anyway, so what's the difference, right? It still felt pretty good and I think that's kind of the point, especially right now.
I can't believe how much strength and flexibility I've lost over this month of home practice (or, non-home practice). And I've also been eating like a pig. Clearly something is wrong because I'm definitely a stress eater. The problem is, the stress should be over now. I have a job, I should be able to roll back into non-stress mode. But I can't. I can't seem to get over my resentment toward the BF either, and I'm not sure what that's about. He's actually a really good guy, even if he's a moody pain in the ass. And I have to say, he's REALLY good about the yoga. Not only does he not make fun of it or of me for being so serious about it, he actually tries to help. He asked if I was going to class on Saturday at the studio down the street and I said 'no, it's not ashtanga and I need ashtanga' and he commented that perhaps I just need yoga right now. He may be right.
Clearly my practice has suffered due to my lack of ability to go to class. I am unable to get motivated to have a decent home practice. I've tried to figure out why that is and haven't come up with any answers. Now that I will be working in the city on Mondays and Wednesdays, I'm wondering if I should go to a different shala. The new office is a little farther downtown and it would be slightly easier to go down there to one of the others now. The problem there is no shower. And that's kind of a drag when you have to get dressed up and go into the office. It was ok when I wore jeans and flip flops to work and didn't put on makeup. I need to find someone who practices there or who has practiced there and find out what the skinny is. Maybe it isn't worth it at all. Maybe I should just stick with what I have.
It's a future stepchildren weekend. That means bitchy Sonya. Oh, and my bank has placed a hold on my first official paycheck plus two weeks worth of unemployment checks that I deposited on Monday and Tuesday of this week, so that means extra bitchy Sonya. I'm soooooo pissed. Fucking wankers. I'm so tired of taking money from the BF. Funny how the stupid bank has NEVER done that to me before. I called and they were like 'it's at the bank's discretion'. WTF????
Friday, February 29, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Outing myself
Since I've already outed myself to several people, I suppose I can start using my first name. It's Sonya. I didn't make it up, it's not some kind of alternate personality. It's my name. Feel free to use it during commentary or whatever.
I ate my weight in cheese tonight. Blubber forecast is 70% with a big chance of jiggling.
I ate my weight in cheese tonight. Blubber forecast is 70% with a big chance of jiggling.
Is this really MY life?
I managed to roll out of bed at 6am, let the dogs out to pee really quick then parked them on the couch to watch me practice. I went up to parsvakonasana and gave up. That's right, GAVE UP. I don't wanna. I just don't wanna. I need the classroom and the teacher and the lack of distracting dust bunnies on the floor. I need the heat and the energy and the motivation of not embarassing myself in front of a bunch of people. I just do. I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. So after I gave up at about 6:20, I took the dogs for a walk, fed them and got ready for work. And continued to be agitated with the BF, left over from last night, which is left over from last weekend. Did I mention that I hold grudges. Yeah, I do.
Since my brain is a little work fried right now, what better time than now to finish the LI Ashtangini yoga history!
We left off with wrist pain and mysore practice. I started mysore practice with S at the tiny studio in Santa Monica. I also took a vinyasa class on Saturdays there, which is where I broke my big right toe. That was my first major yoga injury. Fucker still doesn't look quite right and has a weird pop every time I move it. So I went to the doctor for the wrist pain. Of course, it's tendonitis. And why do I have it? From the yoga! The doctor, of course, recommended that I stop the yoga. I laughed and said, 'I don't think so'. S and my other teacher M gave me all kinds of extra R&D to do and homeopathic/natural remedies to help it. I iced, I wore wrist braces, I even took Advil, which I really don't like taking (kidneys, people, kidneys!). There was a lot of work on 'waking up' the muscles of the back and shoulders to take some of the load off my poor wrists. Backwards perpendicular handstands against the wall (upper body is vertical and legs are parallel to the floor, feet on the wall). Then came the really fun injury.
It was a Friday morning in August 2006. Did my practice and then was doing my backbends, which at that time I did with my arms pushed up to the wall. And I felt something bad happen in the region of my lower back, but not enough to be an immediate problem. So I did my finishing (which I think made it worse, if you want to know the truth) and went home, showered, and went to work. Throughout the day the pain in my lower back got worse and worse and finally I went home at 3pm. Best position was lying on my back on the floor with my feet and legs propped up in a chair. I went to bed and at about 9pm (I was mostly asleep) had the first back spasm. Seriously, if this has never happened to you, it feels like you are paralyzed and may never walk again. It happened twice more during the night, even though I slept with a big floor pillow under my knees (I'm a stomach sleeper and HATE sleeping on my back; it was pure torture for a month). By Saturday all I could do was lie on my back in the aforementioned position. I missed a good friend's birthday party that night and on Sunday, barely able to get in my car (it's very low to the ground), I went to class. I limped in and S immediately began the rehab/restorative. And she did this (along with M) every day for two weeks before I left for New York. Let me tell you that low back injuries suck suck suck. I must have dealt with this off and on for about two months then spent the next 6 months not backbending and rehabbing my hips and lower back. What we came to discover is that I have flexible hamstrings (generally), tight quads and hips that outwardly rotate well (baddha konasana) but don't inwardly rotate very well at all (tiryang mukai blah blah blah). Feet and knees want to go out out out which is apparently bad. Plus my need to push myself led to a perfect storm and a nasty sacrum issue that I still struggle with to this very day.
After the back was rehabbed I practiced with Dominic Corigliano for several months since S left to go have her baby. That was pretty cool. If you've never taken a class from him, I highly recommend it. I made a lot of progress and steadily got stronger. S came back from maternity leave and I had to rotate between S, M and Dominic for a while due to job issues and such.
Then came the abscess. I'm not going to get into that story but suffice it to say that...you know where you put your foot in Janu Sirsasana B? That's where my abscess was. Yep. It required lancing then an additional outpatient surgery two months later and it still bothers me off and on (more on than off). I didn't practice Janu B for months. The second surgery happened two weeks before......
M and G had Chuck Miller and Maty Ezraty in for weeklong Mysore classes, Monday through Saturday last September. It was craaaaazy. The space holds not quite 40 mats, I believe? We were mat to mat (or, nose to ass, as A would say). It was definitely some of the best energy I've felt in a yoga class, for sure. I was two weeks off the minor surgery and I thought I wasn't going to be able to go at all. I was absolutely hysterical about missing it, there was MUCH drama. When the time came though, I was ok enough to practice at about 80-90% so I went. I'm so glad I did, it was amazing. I was certainly one of the most junior practitioners in the room but for once I didn't care. Maty is like a teeny tiny volleyball coach. She knew most of the people in the room and was shouting all the time, it was hilarious. Chuck is, well, in a word, intense. I didn't have very much interaction with them until the very last day. I had finished my practice and was doing my backbends and Chuck came over to me. He sat down next to me and said 'do I know you?'. I said no, told him my name and he proceeded to walk me through backbending for about 20 minutes or so. I was both honored and horrified. He talked about finding my feet and basically wouldn't let me out of bridge pose. The next day my legs were KILLING me. He is amazing, truly truly amazing. His eyes are SO intense. He finished up with me (or got tired of my lameness, whichever) and walked away, so I worked for a bit more on the backbending then I stood up to do my dropback preps against the wall. He calls out from across the room 'where are your feet? do you feel your feet?' YIKES! Now every time I backbend I hear Chuck's voice. Every single solitary time. Good times.....
A few weeks later I ended up here. In hell. Did I mention I hate Long Island? Yeah, I thought so.
Since my brain is a little work fried right now, what better time than now to finish the LI Ashtangini yoga history!
We left off with wrist pain and mysore practice. I started mysore practice with S at the tiny studio in Santa Monica. I also took a vinyasa class on Saturdays there, which is where I broke my big right toe. That was my first major yoga injury. Fucker still doesn't look quite right and has a weird pop every time I move it. So I went to the doctor for the wrist pain. Of course, it's tendonitis. And why do I have it? From the yoga! The doctor, of course, recommended that I stop the yoga. I laughed and said, 'I don't think so'. S and my other teacher M gave me all kinds of extra R&D to do and homeopathic/natural remedies to help it. I iced, I wore wrist braces, I even took Advil, which I really don't like taking (kidneys, people, kidneys!). There was a lot of work on 'waking up' the muscles of the back and shoulders to take some of the load off my poor wrists. Backwards perpendicular handstands against the wall (upper body is vertical and legs are parallel to the floor, feet on the wall). Then came the really fun injury.
It was a Friday morning in August 2006. Did my practice and then was doing my backbends, which at that time I did with my arms pushed up to the wall. And I felt something bad happen in the region of my lower back, but not enough to be an immediate problem. So I did my finishing (which I think made it worse, if you want to know the truth) and went home, showered, and went to work. Throughout the day the pain in my lower back got worse and worse and finally I went home at 3pm. Best position was lying on my back on the floor with my feet and legs propped up in a chair. I went to bed and at about 9pm (I was mostly asleep) had the first back spasm. Seriously, if this has never happened to you, it feels like you are paralyzed and may never walk again. It happened twice more during the night, even though I slept with a big floor pillow under my knees (I'm a stomach sleeper and HATE sleeping on my back; it was pure torture for a month). By Saturday all I could do was lie on my back in the aforementioned position. I missed a good friend's birthday party that night and on Sunday, barely able to get in my car (it's very low to the ground), I went to class. I limped in and S immediately began the rehab/restorative. And she did this (along with M) every day for two weeks before I left for New York. Let me tell you that low back injuries suck suck suck. I must have dealt with this off and on for about two months then spent the next 6 months not backbending and rehabbing my hips and lower back. What we came to discover is that I have flexible hamstrings (generally), tight quads and hips that outwardly rotate well (baddha konasana) but don't inwardly rotate very well at all (tiryang mukai blah blah blah). Feet and knees want to go out out out which is apparently bad. Plus my need to push myself led to a perfect storm and a nasty sacrum issue that I still struggle with to this very day.
After the back was rehabbed I practiced with Dominic Corigliano for several months since S left to go have her baby. That was pretty cool. If you've never taken a class from him, I highly recommend it. I made a lot of progress and steadily got stronger. S came back from maternity leave and I had to rotate between S, M and Dominic for a while due to job issues and such.
Then came the abscess. I'm not going to get into that story but suffice it to say that...you know where you put your foot in Janu Sirsasana B? That's where my abscess was. Yep. It required lancing then an additional outpatient surgery two months later and it still bothers me off and on (more on than off). I didn't practice Janu B for months. The second surgery happened two weeks before......
M and G had Chuck Miller and Maty Ezraty in for weeklong Mysore classes, Monday through Saturday last September. It was craaaaazy. The space holds not quite 40 mats, I believe? We were mat to mat (or, nose to ass, as A would say). It was definitely some of the best energy I've felt in a yoga class, for sure. I was two weeks off the minor surgery and I thought I wasn't going to be able to go at all. I was absolutely hysterical about missing it, there was MUCH drama. When the time came though, I was ok enough to practice at about 80-90% so I went. I'm so glad I did, it was amazing. I was certainly one of the most junior practitioners in the room but for once I didn't care. Maty is like a teeny tiny volleyball coach. She knew most of the people in the room and was shouting all the time, it was hilarious. Chuck is, well, in a word, intense. I didn't have very much interaction with them until the very last day. I had finished my practice and was doing my backbends and Chuck came over to me. He sat down next to me and said 'do I know you?'. I said no, told him my name and he proceeded to walk me through backbending for about 20 minutes or so. I was both honored and horrified. He talked about finding my feet and basically wouldn't let me out of bridge pose. The next day my legs were KILLING me. He is amazing, truly truly amazing. His eyes are SO intense. He finished up with me (or got tired of my lameness, whichever) and walked away, so I worked for a bit more on the backbending then I stood up to do my dropback preps against the wall. He calls out from across the room 'where are your feet? do you feel your feet?' YIKES! Now every time I backbend I hear Chuck's voice. Every single solitary time. Good times.....
A few weeks later I ended up here. In hell. Did I mention I hate Long Island? Yeah, I thought so.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Just had an Arturo/Armani moment
I actually know Owl! I ended up reading a smidge of her blog from being on Anna's. As I was reading I thought to myself, man, this sounds like someone I used to practice with. Little references, nothing big. So I read for a few more days and finally my curiosity got the better of me. I e-mailed her (risking looking like a crazy stalker chick) and said, hey, are you so and so and she was! We have a good friend in common and we both used to practice with the same teachers. We've never 'officially' met but each of us certainly knows who the other is. Boodiba is right, it's a small small small blogging world and it seems to get smaller every day!
How odd that I have to go online to make friends with people I see every day. I know I'm kind of shy but jeez!
How odd that I have to go online to make friends with people I see every day. I know I'm kind of shy but jeez!
Mangosteens
I ate my mangosteen last night that Alfia gave me. Very interesting. If you ever get the chance to try one you should. Tough to get open though. I shared it with BF, he thought it was good too.
Yesterday was not a good day. I was given an offer on Friday by New Company and today they laid off 32 people, three of whom were in my group. Which only leaves me and the guy they promoted up from desktop support last week. So the senior engineer who doesn't yet know the environment and the guy with no server experience whatsoever. Scary. I had a major meltdown over it, but BF talked me down off the ledge. I envisioned myself having to start my search all over again and it was not a pretty vision. Most of all I saw my LA trip in April disintegrating before my very eyes. How sad is that, 32 people lose their jobs and all I can think about is not seeing my friends and missing out on the workshops with Petri. New Company was supposedly getting rid of the dead weight. The three people in my group were pretty useless. According to my boss they got terrible reviews this year and should have seen this coming. Does anyone ever see it coming? Supposedly we are getting another person in on Monday to help. The best part is the looks I've been getting from my co-workers up here on the third floor. Kind of like 'how come YOU'RE still here and THEY'RE gone????'. Super.
I think I still owe the last segment of the LI Ashtangini yoga history but that will have to wait for another day. There's lots of work to be done now that it's just me here. Sigh.
Called A in the hospital yesterday and he was in the middle of being discharged. He sounds great and he's home, which I'm sure is an immense comfort to him. I didn't talk to him long since he was leaving the hospital but I'll call him later today and post an update.
Yesterday was not a good day. I was given an offer on Friday by New Company and today they laid off 32 people, three of whom were in my group. Which only leaves me and the guy they promoted up from desktop support last week. So the senior engineer who doesn't yet know the environment and the guy with no server experience whatsoever. Scary. I had a major meltdown over it, but BF talked me down off the ledge. I envisioned myself having to start my search all over again and it was not a pretty vision. Most of all I saw my LA trip in April disintegrating before my very eyes. How sad is that, 32 people lose their jobs and all I can think about is not seeing my friends and missing out on the workshops with Petri. New Company was supposedly getting rid of the dead weight. The three people in my group were pretty useless. According to my boss they got terrible reviews this year and should have seen this coming. Does anyone ever see it coming? Supposedly we are getting another person in on Monday to help. The best part is the looks I've been getting from my co-workers up here on the third floor. Kind of like 'how come YOU'RE still here and THEY'RE gone????'. Super.
I think I still owe the last segment of the LI Ashtangini yoga history but that will have to wait for another day. There's lots of work to be done now that it's just me here. Sigh.
Called A in the hospital yesterday and he was in the middle of being discharged. He sounds great and he's home, which I'm sure is an immense comfort to him. I didn't talk to him long since he was leaving the hospital but I'll call him later today and post an update.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Practice in DC
I'm here in chilly Baltimore visiting my new-mommy and soon-to-be-mommy friends. I drove the 45 minutes to DC this morning and arrived at the DC Shala at about 7:45am. I met Tova and Alfia there and we all practiced. It was LOVELY. Alfia is terribly sweet and generous. She gave both Tova and I a mangosteen. Very very sweet. She was behind me so I couldn't see much of her practice but I did see her lovely top of the head dropbacks. Just so everyone knows, Tova is GORGEOUS and has a beautiful practice. And she's so terribly sweet. Everyone there was very nice, including the teachers. A big change from my NY shala where people seem, well, not as friendly. The teacher there stopped me at kurmasana, which is fine. I did some backbends and finishing. He did wrestle with me in mari C so that was fun too. Theyu have a mirror in the room which I tried very hard to avoid looking at.....hate practicing with mirrors. Overall it was a nice experience and I'll probably be there again when I visit the friends and their babies!
I have more thoughts on practice in general, I had some insights this weekend so there will probably be more posting later tonight.
I have more thoughts on practice in general, I had some insights this weekend so there will probably be more posting later tonight.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Day gets better
New Company has officially made me an offer to be a full time employee. They've offered me my original (inflated, says BF) salary I had at evil company that went under. But part of it is in a sign-on bonus. That's great because I have some serious bill-paying to do, plus I owe BF a ton of money as he's been fronting me for the last month and a half. Plus, since BF also got his bonus last week, our trip to LA might actually be fun and not so 'budgeted'. We both really need a vacation after the stress of these two months (me jobless and him not smoking). They're even looking into starting my benefits right away. That would be great since individual benefits in NY are really expensive. The best part is that I'll be working from the city two days a week so I can practice at the Shala. Yay!!!!! Snow not seeming quite so bad now.
I still owe the rest of the yoga history. Maybe tonight.
I still owe the rest of the yoga history. Maybe tonight.
Frigging Snow
It snowed last night. A lot. I hate snow. Why did I move here???? Oh yeah.....Now I'm all stressed from the drive here so I'm drinking a gigantic diet pepsi. That's right. Whatever, I don't care. Driving in the snow scares the shit out of me. I hate it. And apparently they don't believe in salting the roads in Port Washington. Assholes. I hate this town. I hate Long Island. I hate New York. There, I feel better. Here are some pictures of the snow.
That's my tiny black car buried under the snow. Poor girl.
In better news....I'm going to meet Cranky while I'm in Baltimore visiting friends. I decided I would check out the DC Shala while I'm there, I really can't afford any more practice time off. So I figured I'd drive to DC and practice at their shala. It's about an hour away but my friends go to church (for work, they are musicians) so I'd be all alone anyway. And Cranky said she was gonna be there!!!! Very exciting stuff indeed. Fellow blogger Alfia will be there also, it is her home shala so should be a fun morning!
I had BF take some pics of me with his fancy new camera while I was practicing last night. The only ones I could stomach posting were the UD pictures. Everything else shows my icky belly. Which does not seem to be getting any smaller, incidentally. UD doesn't look great but doesn't look terrible either. Still too much weight in the arms, for sure, but I'm finally getting to the point where I really feel like I might be able to 'find my feet', as Chuck would say. Also, clearly the armpits need to open up. I guess that's a shoulder thing? I'll have to ask M when I go to LA next. BF also assisted me with utthita hasta padangusthasana. He's learning that it's actually hard work being a yoga teacher, lol. And I'm learning that I need to make more of an effort to not let Teacher do all the work for me in certain poses. That's a lot of leg to hold up in that pose! BF took pics in trikonansana and ardha badha padmottanasana. I'm so incredibly screwed up in that pose, I probably shouldn't even be binding. The lotus hip is WAY higher than the standing leg. M would not approve. Perhaps I should go back to the daily hip openers. The camera is definitely a helpful tool to see what's working and what's not. Also helpful to get a good look at my belly, to stay motivated. Here they are. Please ignore the messy living room.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Doggies.....and Los Angeles
Just for kicks, here is a picture of my 'boys'. Rocky is the Boston Terrier and Rufus is the Pug. How seriously cute are these dogs????
I'm bored at work, I don't want to do anything but browse online for hotel rooms in Santa Monica. That's right, it looks like I'm going to LA in the beginning of April. Petri will be there for a week, he's doing mysore classes then some workshops over the weekend of the 4th 5th and 6th at my dear friends' studio there. Normally I would either stay with M and G or my friend C but BF insists upon staying in a hotel. So trying to find cheap-ish hotel room close to the studio so I can walk in the morning. That way we'll be close to the beach, the pier and the promenade too. I missed Petri last time due to injury, it was such a bummer because I heard great things about him. Plus he's absolutely gorgeous in person, and that certainly doesn't hurt.
I suppose the second half of the LI Ashtangini yoga history is in order. Soooooo, I was practicing at Jivamukti and I heard (I don't remember how I heard) that Pattabhi was doing another 'world tour' and he was going to San Francisco. So I asked A if he wanted to join me in San Fran to check it out. Then they added a week in New York City so I signed up for only one day's led class. Once I signed up I realized I'd better try some Ashtanga just to see what I was in for. I took led classes for maybe a month or so at my current shala (this would be about two years ago). I flubbed through it ok and tried to at least learn the sequence so I didn't look like an idiot. Went to Pattabhi's led class, it was held somewhere in midtown, I don't remember exactly where. But it was definitely VERY cool. I was in the back where Saraswati and Sharath were. Sharath is gorgeous in person, his smile absolutely lights up the room. The experience was pretty amazing but I stuck with Jivamukti.
About a month later I stumbled across a job opportunity in LA so I took it and moved across the country in a matter of three weeks. Alas, no Jivamukti in LA (at least, not close to where I lived). Well, what's the next best thing to Jivamukti? Ashtanga, of course......I found this tiny studio in Santa Monica that was doing led half-primary classes in the evening and that's where I met one of my teachers, G, who is now also a dear friend along with his wife M. They are students of Chuck and Maty and they teach in a very different way than you would find out here in traditional New York City.
Shortly after I started the led classes G kept bugging me about trying Mysore style. Of course, I was like 'no way, that's not happening'. It was scary and I was afraid I'd make a fool of myself and everyone would laugh at me. Finally I gave in and went. 6:30am???? Jeez, could they make it any freaking earlier? I knew the sequence up through Navasana so that's what I practiced 3-4 times a week for the first few months. Along with FOUR extra hip openers before closing sequence to try to open my stubbornly stiff hips. Practice, even just through Navasana, was almost two hours. I was slow, weak, stiff and had no stamina. It seemed like everyone around me was so much more advanced than I was. But I kept hearing stories from everyone about all the stuff they struggled with so I kept at it.
From the beginning, I had trouble with my wrists. They ached after practice and it got worse and worse. I was doing vinyasas and sun salutations with my knees dropped to the floor for MONTHS. It got so bad that I couldn't turn doorknobs and I was sleeping with wrist braces on both wrists to keep from bending them in weird ways while I slept. I put arnica cream on them, iced them, everything you could possibly think of. That was probably my first real Ashtanga lesson......some things come very slowly and there may be some pain involved in getting there. Eventually, almost a year later, I got strong enough that I was no longer taking the strain of the sun salutations and vinyasas in my wrists.
That's enough of that, more injuries to come......and a practice-altering workshop with Chuck and Maty last October......
I'm bored at work, I don't want to do anything but browse online for hotel rooms in Santa Monica. That's right, it looks like I'm going to LA in the beginning of April. Petri will be there for a week, he's doing mysore classes then some workshops over the weekend of the 4th 5th and 6th at my dear friends' studio there. Normally I would either stay with M and G or my friend C but BF insists upon staying in a hotel. So trying to find cheap-ish hotel room close to the studio so I can walk in the morning. That way we'll be close to the beach, the pier and the promenade too. I missed Petri last time due to injury, it was such a bummer because I heard great things about him. Plus he's absolutely gorgeous in person, and that certainly doesn't hurt.
I suppose the second half of the LI Ashtangini yoga history is in order. Soooooo, I was practicing at Jivamukti and I heard (I don't remember how I heard) that Pattabhi was doing another 'world tour' and he was going to San Francisco. So I asked A if he wanted to join me in San Fran to check it out. Then they added a week in New York City so I signed up for only one day's led class. Once I signed up I realized I'd better try some Ashtanga just to see what I was in for. I took led classes for maybe a month or so at my current shala (this would be about two years ago). I flubbed through it ok and tried to at least learn the sequence so I didn't look like an idiot. Went to Pattabhi's led class, it was held somewhere in midtown, I don't remember exactly where. But it was definitely VERY cool. I was in the back where Saraswati and Sharath were. Sharath is gorgeous in person, his smile absolutely lights up the room. The experience was pretty amazing but I stuck with Jivamukti.
About a month later I stumbled across a job opportunity in LA so I took it and moved across the country in a matter of three weeks. Alas, no Jivamukti in LA (at least, not close to where I lived). Well, what's the next best thing to Jivamukti? Ashtanga, of course......I found this tiny studio in Santa Monica that was doing led half-primary classes in the evening and that's where I met one of my teachers, G, who is now also a dear friend along with his wife M. They are students of Chuck and Maty and they teach in a very different way than you would find out here in traditional New York City.
Shortly after I started the led classes G kept bugging me about trying Mysore style. Of course, I was like 'no way, that's not happening'. It was scary and I was afraid I'd make a fool of myself and everyone would laugh at me. Finally I gave in and went. 6:30am???? Jeez, could they make it any freaking earlier? I knew the sequence up through Navasana so that's what I practiced 3-4 times a week for the first few months. Along with FOUR extra hip openers before closing sequence to try to open my stubbornly stiff hips. Practice, even just through Navasana, was almost two hours. I was slow, weak, stiff and had no stamina. It seemed like everyone around me was so much more advanced than I was. But I kept hearing stories from everyone about all the stuff they struggled with so I kept at it.
From the beginning, I had trouble with my wrists. They ached after practice and it got worse and worse. I was doing vinyasas and sun salutations with my knees dropped to the floor for MONTHS. It got so bad that I couldn't turn doorknobs and I was sleeping with wrist braces on both wrists to keep from bending them in weird ways while I slept. I put arnica cream on them, iced them, everything you could possibly think of. That was probably my first real Ashtanga lesson......some things come very slowly and there may be some pain involved in getting there. Eventually, almost a year later, I got strong enough that I was no longer taking the strain of the sun salutations and vinyasas in my wrists.
That's enough of that, more injuries to come......and a practice-altering workshop with Chuck and Maty last October......
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Very very tired
The second part of the LI Ashtangini yoga history is going to have to wait. I'm so unbelievably tired. The BF had a lot of trouble sleeping last night. At one point he sat straight up in bed and made this awful sound like he was going to throw up. He ran downstairs to the bathroom and waited a while but never did barf. This was at about 11:30pm, and of course I had already been in bed for over two hours as I had every intention of practicing on the moon day. He finally came back to bed and proceeded to toss and turn for HOURS. Finally he fell asleep at about 4am but then he started SNORING so I grabbed my pillow and went downstairs to sleep on the couch for a couple of hours. Needless to say, no practice today. It also looks like I won't be making it to the shala this week at all. I haven't worked anything out with the bosses at New Company and I'll be in Baltimore this weekend visiting two of my friends, one of whom just had her second baby and one of whom is about 7 months pregnant with her first. I'm thinking about paying a visit on Sunday morning to a shala I found online in DC but that's almost an hour from where they live. We'll see how that goes.
I started my cleanse/detox/whatever you want to call it. Basically I'm taking these supplements to do a liver/blood/lymphatic/colon cleanse. In addition to that I gave up caffeine, refined sugar and meat this week. Next week I'll probably do vegan and give up dairy in addition to the above. I'm really hoping this will help me with my awful digestive issues as well as get rid of the blubber that accumulated in January. This not sleeping thing with BF is not helping my detox at all! I told him I was going to sleep in the guest room tonight.
Update on my friend A, he's doing very well, out of surgery, still in CICU. He should be moved to a regular hospital room tomorrow or Friday. Yay! Thanks to everyone who sent their good wishes.
I started my cleanse/detox/whatever you want to call it. Basically I'm taking these supplements to do a liver/blood/lymphatic/colon cleanse. In addition to that I gave up caffeine, refined sugar and meat this week. Next week I'll probably do vegan and give up dairy in addition to the above. I'm really hoping this will help me with my awful digestive issues as well as get rid of the blubber that accumulated in January. This not sleeping thing with BF is not helping my detox at all! I told him I was going to sleep in the guest room tonight.
Update on my friend A, he's doing very well, out of surgery, still in CICU. He should be moved to a regular hospital room tomorrow or Friday. Yay! Thanks to everyone who sent their good wishes.
Monday, February 18, 2008
A history of LI Ashtangini yoga, part one
Since I can't think of anything to post today, I think I'll go for that yoga history thing I mentioned yesterday. When A and I were still 'just friends' he used to bug me all the time about trying yoga. Of course, I was like 'whatever, that's some weird California thing you do'. By the time I was 30 or 31 I had gained a lot of weight. I've never been an athletic person. I was the little girl with her nose in a book while all the other kids were outside running around or riding bikes. I played the clarinet. As a matter of fact, I went to a very large music school in the south and I have a Bachelor's degree in clarinet performance. My idea of exercise was taking a flight or two of stairs at work (ok, it still is but that's a different issue). I'm already a 'big' person, I'm 5'9" and not thin by nature. So by the time I was about 31 I weighed somewhere in the neighborhood of 210 lbs. and was a size 18. Somehow I managed to lose most of the weight (took maybe 6-8 months) and get down to a 12, I don't remember how, but I'm sure it involved switching to diet soda from regular among other things. Finally I decided to try this yoga thing that A kept yammering on and on about. I signed up for a month-long beginners series at Be Yoga (before it was acquired by YogaWorks, blech). It was hard but I liked it. I had finally found something that could stop that constant yammering in my head. So I kept going back to Be Yoga, eventually getting up the nerve to move up to level 1/2 (that was a huge step for me). At that point, maybe 5 months later or so) I went to LA to visit A and we ended up dating for a while (sort of, it was long distance) and he took me to a vinyasa class at Maha. NOW I had finally found something that worked but they didn't have anything like that at Be. Maha has great flow classes, awesome music, it's VERY 'Southern California' yoga. About a month later he came to NY for a visit and he took me to Jivamukti. I fell in love. It was HARD and I got sweaty and worked and it was great. I abandoned Be for Jivamukti and was there three or four times a week. There was a ton of stuff I was too weak to do (UD, the endless sun salutations) but I didn't care. It was fun and the music was great and it was the first time that any kind of physical activity didn't turn me off. I stuck with it. Until Pattabhi Jois came to town......and that's enough history for today.
Practice was good today but I'm really sore from going all out two days in a row (I'm such a wimp) so tomorrow's home practice will probably be mellow. Very nice fingertip grabs on marichasana c again today, and I managed to stick them even after Teacher got up and walked away. Three nice backbends again today and the dropback preps against the wall are getting better too. On the third one I *think* I almost saw the floor. No word yet on A, still need to call the west coast and see how he's doing, however, I appreciate everyone's good wishes.
Practice was good today but I'm really sore from going all out two days in a row (I'm such a wimp) so tomorrow's home practice will probably be mellow. Very nice fingertip grabs on marichasana c again today, and I managed to stick them even after Teacher got up and walked away. Three nice backbends again today and the dropback preps against the wall are getting better too. On the third one I *think* I almost saw the floor. No word yet on A, still need to call the west coast and see how he's doing, however, I appreciate everyone's good wishes.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Butterflied shrimp
Today's practice was the best I've had in quite a while. I won't go into the lame details but I definitely feel progress. And Teacher learned my name today. Oh dear.....Now I'll get my name yelled across the room like everyone else. I felt terribly bad for this one poor girl who was practicing today. She's actually one of the teaching assistants. Very sweet (and I say girl because I'm pretty sure she's much younger than I am) and a nice practice well into second series. She seems to have hurt her wrist or hand or something. I sympathized with her, as I battled tendonitis in my wrists for over eight months. Teacher had her pretty much doing her regular practice, except anything she would have balanced on her hands for, she was on her forearms instead. Bakasana on the forearms. Tittibhasana on the forearms. Then he told her to do Mayurasana on ONE HAND. I saw her lose it for just a couple of minutes. Girl's got some serious cojones, I'll give her that. I would have freaked out. Especially since teacher wasn't instructing her quietly, everyone in the room knew. I'm not really sure how I feel about his method sometimes.
In other news, my dear friend A in Los Angeles is having open heart surgery tomorrow. Actually, A is an ex-boyfriend. We've known each other for almost ten years. He's only 38 :( They are repairing an aneurism and possibly replacing an aortic valve with a mechanical valve. It's the same thing that his mother passed away from about a year and a half ago. He has no family near him so another ex (who I DESPISE) is taking care of him. Even though I can't stand her, I'm glad she's there to deal with him because our other mutual friends in LA are a bit flakey. He told me tonight that she's staying at the hospital all day until he's out, which is good because he won't be able to talk or anything for a few days. He'll be in surgery at least 5 hours, then in cardiac ICU for at least 3 or 4 days, then the regular hospital for another 7 days or so. A is actually the person who originally persuaded me to try yoga becasue according to him, I am 'too uptight'. He introduced me to vinyasa flow at Maha and took me to my first Jivamukti class. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to him. We were joking tonight on the phone about how they are going to butterfly him open like a shrimp. Yikes. I'll at least be able to find out how he is tomorrow afternoon from one of our friends but tonight is the last time I'll be able to talk to him for a while. So, if you're reading this and you feel so inclined, send some good practice vibes toward him tomorrow. I would very much appreciate it, and I know he would too. Namaste.
PS That reminds me, perhaps it's time to take a step back and document a brief history of LI Ashtangini's yoga adventures. Perhaps tomorrow's post.....it may turn into a two-parter!
PPS Blubber forecast - 40% - thinking about doing a detox/cleanse.....stay tuned!
In other news, my dear friend A in Los Angeles is having open heart surgery tomorrow. Actually, A is an ex-boyfriend. We've known each other for almost ten years. He's only 38 :( They are repairing an aneurism and possibly replacing an aortic valve with a mechanical valve. It's the same thing that his mother passed away from about a year and a half ago. He has no family near him so another ex (who I DESPISE) is taking care of him. Even though I can't stand her, I'm glad she's there to deal with him because our other mutual friends in LA are a bit flakey. He told me tonight that she's staying at the hospital all day until he's out, which is good because he won't be able to talk or anything for a few days. He'll be in surgery at least 5 hours, then in cardiac ICU for at least 3 or 4 days, then the regular hospital for another 7 days or so. A is actually the person who originally persuaded me to try yoga becasue according to him, I am 'too uptight'. He introduced me to vinyasa flow at Maha and took me to my first Jivamukti class. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to him. We were joking tonight on the phone about how they are going to butterfly him open like a shrimp. Yikes. I'll at least be able to find out how he is tomorrow afternoon from one of our friends but tonight is the last time I'll be able to talk to him for a while. So, if you're reading this and you feel so inclined, send some good practice vibes toward him tomorrow. I would very much appreciate it, and I know he would too. Namaste.
PS That reminds me, perhaps it's time to take a step back and document a brief history of LI Ashtangini's yoga adventures. Perhaps tomorrow's post.....it may turn into a two-parter!
PPS Blubber forecast - 40% - thinking about doing a detox/cleanse.....stay tuned!
Friday, February 15, 2008
I did it!!!!
I actually had a decent practice this morning. I didn't sleep at all last night. Ever since the BF quit smoking, he's been a nightmare to deal with, and that includes bedtime. Cranky bastard has been hostile and evil, but at night he's had these awful night sweats and can't sleep, I swear he's in menopause. So he's decided he can't sleep under my lovely down comforter any more, he gets too hot. Being the wonderful, giving, supportive GF that I am, last night, while he was out visiting the future step-children on Valentine's Day (yes, that's right, I spent V-Day by myself and never complained, such a trooper am I), I put flannel sheets on the bed and got out my two summer-weight cotton blankets. I was hoping that between the flannel sheets and the blankets, I might be warm enough and he might be cool enough to get some sleep. I was very wrong. I was freezing all night long, and he still didn't get any more sleep than usual so it was all for naught.
I woke up at about 6:30am, having huddled under the covers all night thinking 'there's no way I'm gonna be able to get up and practice in the AM'. I lay there for a few minutes then bounded out of bed, threw on fleece pants, sports bra and long sleeved t-shirt, went downstairs, turned on the space heater, rolled out my mat and just did it. 4 A's, 3 B's, all of standing, Dandasana, Paschimo, Purvo, ardha baddha, tiriang mukha, janu A, marichi A and C, two backbends, shoulderstand and headstand. I even worked up a sweat. I know this all sounds very boring to others but I'm so freaking excited about it, I've had such a hard time getting motivated to practice at home. BF woke up early and came downstairs at about 6:50 so I got him to wrestle me into Mari A (he's really learning how to get my arm pretty low on the folded leg). He tried to help with C but that's hard if you don't really understand where the rotations are. He was a good sport though. Then he spotted me with my headstand.
And here's where I have to make a very sad, embarassing admission.
I
can't
do
a
headstand.
You heard me. I'm lame. I've been practicing yoga for three years this month. And I've been practicing Ashtanga for almost two years. And I can't do a headstand without a wall or a spotter. Or a handstand for that matter, EVER. I see pure beginners do headstands with no problem whatsoever. This frustrates me to no end. I have actually had horrible breakdowns because I can't do a headstand, one in front of an unfortunately inexperienced teacher in LA who was clueless as to what to do when I freaked out. My regular teacher in LA tells me it's because I have an inordinate fear of being upside down. Her theory is that people who are somewhat anal and who don't allow a lot of chaos into their life have a really hard time being upside down. I think it's because I've rolled over my hands before and it hurts! And as far as handstand goes, I've actually had my shoulder go out from under me and fallen on my head. Scary and painful. My neck hurt for over a week after that one. This was in the same LA teacher's Saturday morning vinyasa class where I broke my right big toe jumping back. He shall remain nameless, mostly because I like him and neither were his fault.
Sunday morning and Monday morning (holiday) to the Shala. I haven't been this excited to go to class in a really long time. New company boss also said I should work from the City next week at least one day to get a feel for it, make sure I liked it. I think I like this guy!
Blubber alert today only about 50%. It's going down.....slowly. Perhaps if I laid off the bread and sugar....ha! Must get rid of this roll and beat BF at losing the weight.
I woke up at about 6:30am, having huddled under the covers all night thinking 'there's no way I'm gonna be able to get up and practice in the AM'. I lay there for a few minutes then bounded out of bed, threw on fleece pants, sports bra and long sleeved t-shirt, went downstairs, turned on the space heater, rolled out my mat and just did it. 4 A's, 3 B's, all of standing, Dandasana, Paschimo, Purvo, ardha baddha, tiriang mukha, janu A, marichi A and C, two backbends, shoulderstand and headstand. I even worked up a sweat. I know this all sounds very boring to others but I'm so freaking excited about it, I've had such a hard time getting motivated to practice at home. BF woke up early and came downstairs at about 6:50 so I got him to wrestle me into Mari A (he's really learning how to get my arm pretty low on the folded leg). He tried to help with C but that's hard if you don't really understand where the rotations are. He was a good sport though. Then he spotted me with my headstand.
And here's where I have to make a very sad, embarassing admission.
I
can't
do
a
headstand.
You heard me. I'm lame. I've been practicing yoga for three years this month. And I've been practicing Ashtanga for almost two years. And I can't do a headstand without a wall or a spotter. Or a handstand for that matter, EVER. I see pure beginners do headstands with no problem whatsoever. This frustrates me to no end. I have actually had horrible breakdowns because I can't do a headstand, one in front of an unfortunately inexperienced teacher in LA who was clueless as to what to do when I freaked out. My regular teacher in LA tells me it's because I have an inordinate fear of being upside down. Her theory is that people who are somewhat anal and who don't allow a lot of chaos into their life have a really hard time being upside down. I think it's because I've rolled over my hands before and it hurts! And as far as handstand goes, I've actually had my shoulder go out from under me and fallen on my head. Scary and painful. My neck hurt for over a week after that one. This was in the same LA teacher's Saturday morning vinyasa class where I broke my right big toe jumping back. He shall remain nameless, mostly because I like him and neither were his fault.
Sunday morning and Monday morning (holiday) to the Shala. I haven't been this excited to go to class in a really long time. New company boss also said I should work from the City next week at least one day to get a feel for it, make sure I liked it. I think I like this guy!
Blubber alert today only about 50%. It's going down.....slowly. Perhaps if I laid off the bread and sugar....ha! Must get rid of this roll and beat BF at losing the weight.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
I hate writing documentation
While I'm very glad to be working again, I really really really hate writing documentation. Really.
The weather here in the greater NYC area has turned quite frightful. Last night it snowed. There are only two ways out of the industrial park where I work and apparently whenever it snows, both roads get really backed up and it's impossible to leave. I attempted it once and ended up turning around and coming back to the office because I was afraid I didn't have enough gas to wait in that much traffic. It was looking like half an hour or more to get home (and I live about 3 miles away). Had a nasty tiff with BF about it, he was being less than helpful. Apparently the tiff is still going on as he's being a wanker again today. Whatev. Late last night the snow turned to rain and it has rained all day today non-stop. So no more snow, now it's just WaterWorld. I really miss Los Angeles.
I stumbled across an interesting blog, Melissa's. She chats about being a mom and other stuff. Her latest post was regarding teaching her young children to say please, thank you, yes ma'am, no ma'am. That got me to thinking about the future step-children. They are very sweet boys but their tendency to say 'yeah' when their name is called grates on my last nerve. I just think it's so disrespectful. And it also makes them sound kind of crass and uneducated. There's also a lot of 'I hate Z, he's stupid' or 'T is an idiot' stuff, which is normal for kids but I don't particularly think we should condone or even ignore it. So I've been mulling over launching a 'be respectful' campaign in our house. The problem is, they are only there every other weekend. Their mom doesn't really seem interested in any kind of team effort to get everyone on the same page in regards to how the children act or what kind of chores they are required to perform. Actually she seems quite the opposite (and that's all I'm going to say about that.....). So I was discussing this with the BF over the weekend. He agrees with me that they seem quite spoiled and disrespectful. I'm just not sure how it's supposed to work out. He and I have one idea of how things should be and their mother has a different idea. According to her, they aren't that way when they're with her. Well, is it that or is it that the same things don't bother her?
Home practice, was, er, interesting. I decided I didn't want to do my usual practice so I did something else. And now I'm going to make an admission that will brand me forever as a non-traditional, west-coast quasi-ashtangi......I like Steve Ross. It's true. I just do. And I like his style of vinyasa flow. I have taken many a flow class at Maha Yoga. There, I said it. So this morning, when I didn't feel like doing primary, I turned on the Oxygen channel and practiced along with Inhale. Now you can flame me or stop reading my blog or just think I'm an idiot. That's ok, I'll still be here tomorrow blogging, same as always.
The weather here in the greater NYC area has turned quite frightful. Last night it snowed. There are only two ways out of the industrial park where I work and apparently whenever it snows, both roads get really backed up and it's impossible to leave. I attempted it once and ended up turning around and coming back to the office because I was afraid I didn't have enough gas to wait in that much traffic. It was looking like half an hour or more to get home (and I live about 3 miles away). Had a nasty tiff with BF about it, he was being less than helpful. Apparently the tiff is still going on as he's being a wanker again today. Whatev. Late last night the snow turned to rain and it has rained all day today non-stop. So no more snow, now it's just WaterWorld. I really miss Los Angeles.
I stumbled across an interesting blog, Melissa's. She chats about being a mom and other stuff. Her latest post was regarding teaching her young children to say please, thank you, yes ma'am, no ma'am. That got me to thinking about the future step-children. They are very sweet boys but their tendency to say 'yeah' when their name is called grates on my last nerve. I just think it's so disrespectful. And it also makes them sound kind of crass and uneducated. There's also a lot of 'I hate Z, he's stupid' or 'T is an idiot' stuff, which is normal for kids but I don't particularly think we should condone or even ignore it. So I've been mulling over launching a 'be respectful' campaign in our house. The problem is, they are only there every other weekend. Their mom doesn't really seem interested in any kind of team effort to get everyone on the same page in regards to how the children act or what kind of chores they are required to perform. Actually she seems quite the opposite (and that's all I'm going to say about that.....). So I was discussing this with the BF over the weekend. He agrees with me that they seem quite spoiled and disrespectful. I'm just not sure how it's supposed to work out. He and I have one idea of how things should be and their mother has a different idea. According to her, they aren't that way when they're with her. Well, is it that or is it that the same things don't bother her?
Home practice, was, er, interesting. I decided I didn't want to do my usual practice so I did something else. And now I'm going to make an admission that will brand me forever as a non-traditional, west-coast quasi-ashtangi......I like Steve Ross. It's true. I just do. And I like his style of vinyasa flow. I have taken many a flow class at Maha Yoga. There, I said it. So this morning, when I didn't feel like doing primary, I turned on the Oxygen channel and practiced along with Inhale. Now you can flame me or stop reading my blog or just think I'm an idiot. That's ok, I'll still be here tomorrow blogging, same as always.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Home practice
I attempted my second home practice ever today. It wasn't good but wasn't horrible. It was, however, VERY FARKING COLD. I turned the space heater on in the living room and waited about 15 minutes for the room to go from freezer to refrigerator temperature. Had to practice with a long sleeved shirt on and didn't really work up much of a sweat. Did I mention it was cold as hell? I was also really stiff and sore from Sunday but I got through the standing poses and sitting until mari A then gave up. It wasn't too terrible but it was very lonely! I think this is a good thing for me, I need to learn to not be dependent on the energy of the people around me. Definitely when I practice at the shala I am affected by the people around me. If I have to be near someone who bugs me, I'll have a less-than-stellar practice but if I feel like I'm surrounded by people who are non-judgemental and mellow, I'm usually bound to have a more 'successful' practice. Tomorrow is another day.
The sky is totally gray now. The weather is supposed to turn crappy later today, icy snowy yuck. Won't be able to go for a brisk walk like yesterday. Must beat BF in the 'lose the January weight' bet! At least he won't be around tonight to tempt me into eating lots of junk before I go to bed.
The sky is totally gray now. The weather is supposed to turn crappy later today, icy snowy yuck. Won't be able to go for a brisk walk like yesterday. Must beat BF in the 'lose the January weight' bet! At least he won't be around tonight to tempt me into eating lots of junk before I go to bed.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Blowing up systems
Possibly brought down the new company's e-mail system very briefly this morning, tee hee. Oh yes, that's what I do for a living, I design, build and manage e-mail systems. 'Twasn't my fault tho. I swear. So I didn't practice this morning because I was up way too late watching the Grammy's. LOVE the Grammy's, cuz I'm a music nut and all. I thought the Alicia Keys/Frank Sinatra duet was awesome. Also liked Kanye's performance, although he's such an arrogant prick. I recorded the whole thing and haven't watched toward the end, I want to see Amy Winehouse. Was a good show, I thoroughly enjoyed it as always. And Herbie Hancock with Album of the Year! Very exciting. What does tomorrow bring for my new home practice? We shall see.....
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Practice today......
I finally did it. I got back to my mat. And did all of primary at the shala. I almost stopped at navasana. Then I remembered the bet I have with BF about who can lose the extra weight we gained in January. And I also really needed to challenge myself. It's time to stop putzering. So I kept on sweating. It wasn't a great practice. It was a real bummer to realize I've lost marichasana B and C because of the BLUBBER that I've gained this month. Not that I really had them but I could at least be wrestled into them. But it wasn't too terrible. The hamstrings will complain tomorrow, what else is new. Also was somewhat entertained by Teacher lecturing someone on bhujapidasana from across the room. 'You cannot put your chin to the floor unless your feet are up high!' LOL, as if I can even do that at all. All I can say is, so glad it wasn't me. I would be mortified if he ever did that to me. I also felt really sorry for the assistant who was wrestling me into mari C. Teacher probably could have done it but I was too fat and stiff and she wasn't strong enough. And she's soooooo sweet. She asked if I wanted a D adjustment and I was too humiliated to do it so I told her no thank you. Very nice. Oh, and definitely got distracted by some woman who appeared to be 5 or 6 months pregnant practicing most of second, including karandavasana. Sheesh. Other than that, nothing terribly interesting today. Cleaned out the fridge, did the ironing, mopped the kitchen floor. Fun. Tomorrow, more practice. Hopefully I can crawl out of bed after watching the Grammy Awards.
Stay tuned, possible lurker's amnesty week coming up.....
Stay tuned, possible lurker's amnesty week coming up.....
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Life and snoring
I just got off the phone, speaking with my favorite cousin F. Technically she's my mother's first cousin, but when you're from the South, everyone is a 'cousin'. F is pretty much my second mom, considering my actual mother is just this side of a complete nut. No, really, she's actually crazy. It's been diagnosed. Anyhoo, F is married to M, who is just the NICEST guy in the whole world. I've known both of them my whole life. And M has been diagnosed with lung cancer. It's terminal. The oncologists and various other doctors at the preeminent university teaching hospital near where they live are going to treat it with chemo and radiation because they think they can buy him some time. But really his days are much shorter in number than we would like. It makes me very sad. But what makes me even more sad is F. She's completely devastated. M is a lifelong smoker. F keeps saying 'but the doctors said this isn't because of the smoking'. Seriously, you're really clinging to that? But then I realize that right now she needs to cling to whatever she can. Course this has helped in my campaign to help the BF stop smoking. He stopped January 1 and hasn't had a cigarette since. I'm VERY proud of him. Of course, he's felt like total crapola since he quit but hopefully that will go away soon. He has also turned into an eating machine since he quit but we'll get that turned around eventually.
Yesterday the BF and I went to the city to take in a small photography exhibit that a friend of a friend is in. Then we went to Gobo for vegetarian/vegan food. I was sure he would freak out and hate it but I think he actually liked it. Of course, I had to feed him a heaping helping of red meat tonight for dinner but maybe some day I can wean him off the 'meat every meal' concept.
So after I fed him the dead cow and he was snoozing on the couch while I talked to my cousin, she told me a story about M and snoring. Basically, she always made him wait to come to bed until she was already asleep so that his snoring wouldn't wake her up. However, for the last couple of months he's been in so much pain that the only way he could get any sleep at all was to sleep sitting up on the couch. The doctors finally got his pain medication combo to the point where he could sleep in the bed for a full night. She was so excited to hear his snoring for two nights in a row. We had a good chuckle over that. I went out to the living room where BF was snoozing (he's a MAJOR snore-er). I remembered how agitated I was the first month I was here living with him and I wasn't able to sleep because of his snoring. And I realized that while I will probably get annoyed with the snoring many times in the future, I'll always stop for just a second and remember F and M and how happy she was to hear him snore. Just for two nights.
Back to the Shala tomorrow. YAY!!!!!!!
Yesterday the BF and I went to the city to take in a small photography exhibit that a friend of a friend is in. Then we went to Gobo for vegetarian/vegan food. I was sure he would freak out and hate it but I think he actually liked it. Of course, I had to feed him a heaping helping of red meat tonight for dinner but maybe some day I can wean him off the 'meat every meal' concept.
So after I fed him the dead cow and he was snoozing on the couch while I talked to my cousin, she told me a story about M and snoring. Basically, she always made him wait to come to bed until she was already asleep so that his snoring wouldn't wake her up. However, for the last couple of months he's been in so much pain that the only way he could get any sleep at all was to sleep sitting up on the couch. The doctors finally got his pain medication combo to the point where he could sleep in the bed for a full night. She was so excited to hear his snoring for two nights in a row. We had a good chuckle over that. I went out to the living room where BF was snoozing (he's a MAJOR snore-er). I remembered how agitated I was the first month I was here living with him and I wasn't able to sleep because of his snoring. And I realized that while I will probably get annoyed with the snoring many times in the future, I'll always stop for just a second and remember F and M and how happy she was to hear him snore. Just for two nights.
Back to the Shala tomorrow. YAY!!!!!!!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Inertia has set in
Another day, no practice. So that makes just about a week with no practice. I'm using Ladies Holiday as my excuse. Which means that I really should practice tomorrow morning. I have every intention of doing so.....course, that hasn't helped me with the past few mornings. I've been sleeping A LOT. Compared to the not sleeping over the previous few weeks, it has been nice to be able to actually sleep at all. So I gave in and just slept. I slept for over 10 hours the night before last. Hopefully I've somewhat caught up and I will be able to wake up on my own tomorrow and get to my mat. Maybe. Hopefully.
I found another blog by some of my favorite bloggers and it really cheered me up today, so I must share it with everyone. Hundredwordwankers.blogspot.com. Seriously, it made me laugh out loud today at work. I wish I had discovered it when I was all jobless and depressed a couple of weeks ago because it would have totally cheered me up. I showed it to BF and it cracked him up too. Especially the Lululemon Manifesto. Hysterical.
I've decided to stop pursuing a new job with big company X. I think I'm just going to stick with this one. The 'Director' told me today that I could work in the city if I wanted to, so that I could go to class. How cool is that? There's gotta be something to this place if the dude is willing to let me change my work location just so I can go to yoga class, for heaven's sake.
So, tomorrow. Practice. Alone. Maybe BF will help.....
I found another blog by some of my favorite bloggers and it really cheered me up today, so I must share it with everyone. Hundredwordwankers.blogspot.com. Seriously, it made me laugh out loud today at work. I wish I had discovered it when I was all jobless and depressed a couple of weeks ago because it would have totally cheered me up. I showed it to BF and it cracked him up too. Especially the Lululemon Manifesto. Hysterical.
I've decided to stop pursuing a new job with big company X. I think I'm just going to stick with this one. The 'Director' told me today that I could work in the city if I wanted to, so that I could go to class. How cool is that? There's gotta be something to this place if the dude is willing to let me change my work location just so I can go to yoga class, for heaven's sake.
So, tomorrow. Practice. Alone. Maybe BF will help.....
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Am I really this boring?
Probably. Nothing new to report except that I started a job with company X very close to home. One of the very nice bosses said that if I wanted to I might be able to work out of their office in Manhattan instead so I could go to yoga class. Very sweet. Everyone is sooooooo nice here, it's very strange.
Ladies holiday this week so I haven't practiced in several days. Bad lady. I intend to get up in the morning and give it a go by myself again.
BF and I are going grocery shopping tonight, there is literally no food in the house. I already informed him that we will be switching back to healthy eating now. We have both gained weight and I personally am miserable with this extra 8 lbs. or so on me. No future stepchildren this weekend and we are actually going out in public as a couple both Friday AND Saturday night. My friend Sheri's boyfriend is in town so we're going to meet up with them, go head some music and have some dinner. It will be nice to go out and be grownups, we haven't done it in a while.
More later.....
Ladies holiday this week so I haven't practiced in several days. Bad lady. I intend to get up in the morning and give it a go by myself again.
BF and I are going grocery shopping tonight, there is literally no food in the house. I already informed him that we will be switching back to healthy eating now. We have both gained weight and I personally am miserable with this extra 8 lbs. or so on me. No future stepchildren this weekend and we are actually going out in public as a couple both Friday AND Saturday night. My friend Sheri's boyfriend is in town so we're going to meet up with them, go head some music and have some dinner. It will be nice to go out and be grownups, we haven't done it in a while.
More later.....
Sunday, February 3, 2008
What makes for a really crappy mood?
Getting laid off from your job because they closed up shop and filed for bankruptcy all in one day - CHECK
Having to take a consulting job outside the city that you really don't want simply because you must earn the paycheck - CHECK
Having to practice on your own every morning because you no longer go into the city to work every day - CHECK
Ladies holiday - CHECK
Finding out one of your favorite and most loved people in the world has terminal lung cancer and has approximately 6-9 months to live - CHECK
Gaining at least 5 pounds due to the fact that you haven't been practicing this month because you're JOBLESS - CHECK
Eating really really bad food for a month due to all the stress of trying to find a new job - CHECK
I tried to practice today. I really really did. It simply didn't work out that well. But I did make it to the mat. Isn't that what matters?
Having to take a consulting job outside the city that you really don't want simply because you must earn the paycheck - CHECK
Having to practice on your own every morning because you no longer go into the city to work every day - CHECK
Ladies holiday - CHECK
Finding out one of your favorite and most loved people in the world has terminal lung cancer and has approximately 6-9 months to live - CHECK
Gaining at least 5 pounds due to the fact that you haven't been practicing this month because you're JOBLESS - CHECK
Eating really really bad food for a month due to all the stress of trying to find a new job - CHECK
I tried to practice today. I really really did. It simply didn't work out that well. But I did make it to the mat. Isn't that what matters?
Friday, February 1, 2008
Rainy day, rainy mood
What a yucky day here in Port Washington. It's dreary and raining and cold and just plain yucky. The dogs and I are hanging out here on the couch watching tv. I don't really have anything to write about, and haven't had anything for days. I'm supposed to start my new contracting job on Monday and I'm finding that sooooo depressing. No benefits. And what's even more depressing is I just looked up how much it's going to cost me to get benefits and it's somewhere in the neighborhood of $350 a month. And that won't get me much, a huge deductible and having to pay for a full office visit. Then I have to get dental insurance because I have teeth issues and I can't be without dental insurance. Then it occurred to me that I have no life insurance. What if something happened to me? Sigh. Just thinking about it all is terribly depressing so I'm avoiding by watching tv until I'm in a stupor. Yoga practice? Not really. Just the thought makes me want to burst into tears. Which is exactly what almost happened the last time I was wrestled into Marichasana C. I had the overwhelming urge to cry. No word from big company X, either, who I was hoping would save me from non-benefits land. Oh, and I just had to call YS and stop my monthly auto-renewal. Now I'm REALLY in a funk. I will only be able to go to class on Sundays. I'll be practicing alone every morning, no adjustments, no teacher, no fellow students. Super. Thanks Axium.
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